Smith, a relationship counselor delivered a great seminar on relationship in a forum organized by some youths in his neighborhood. After the seminar, he came across Pat and Harry walking across the corridor of the hall. They exchanged pleasantries and after few minutes, he paused and interrupt their conversation.
“If you don’t mind, can I ask you some questions?”
Pat, looking surprised but feeling reluctant told him to go ahead. To his amazement, they were unable to provide satisfactory answers to the questions he asked.
Pat was an Editor in her mid-twenties and she believed she knew everything when it comes to relationship issues. She features weekly on lifestyle issues in a magazine column yet, she was surprised to be unable to answer some questions that Smith asked her.
Harry was a medical doctor, and in his late twenties he believes he knew what it takes to have a good relationship but he was surprised he couldn’t give valid answers to Smith’s questions.
What are these questions?
There are two “I Dos” in an ideal relationship. The first is when you accept a relationship proposal and the second is when you take a marriage oath.
Have you ever asked yourself some sincere questions before you start that relationship or make any major decision on whom to marry?
If you fail to plan, you would end up having a failed relationship.
Questions helps you to focus on imminent problems and the answers you provide would help you tackle the any problem when they come.
I have carefully outlined these questions to cover vital areas of your life and it will be good if you can ask yourself or your would-be partner.
1. Am I prepared for a relationship?
No relationship can be successful if one or both partners are not fully prepared.
Preparation is not all about achievements or material possession, it is about emotional, mental, financial and psychological readiness to meet the needs of your partner. Can you meet his or her emotional needs?
Lack of preparation would make people cheat on their spouses emotionally. Your focus and commitment level will be affected once you are not ready to go into a relationship.
So, before you start one, ask yourself honestly if you are ready to venture into it.
2. Am I matured enough to handle the demands of a relationship?
While age is not a symbol of maturity but a numeric value that appreciates as years go by, you need to be mature before you consider going into a relationship.
Maturity is one of the fundamental requirements in having a successful relationship.
You must be matured in all areas of your life such as financially, mentally, spiritually, socially and emotionally before you go into a relationship. When you lack maturity in one of these areas, it will affect your spouse and the relationship.
A relationship might work when one partner is matured but it would fail too soon when none of them is matured.
The expression of love is a function of maturity and this takes us to the next question.
3. Do I understand love?
It may sound somehow to ask yourself this kind of question but it will surely help if you may ask.
What most people define as love is actually incorrect. Some people define love based on their feelings. Others express love based on common definitions. “Love don’t cost a thing” etc. Others may also define love based on material substances.
A lot of people attach their love to beauty, conditions or material benefits. All these do not give one a proper understanding of love.
The real definition of love can be expressed by these words, “Sacrifice,” “Selflessness,” and “Commitment”. God loved us and gave us His Son – sacrifice. His son came and ensured we lived a life that pleases His father – commitment.
If you can live with this understanding, you would have had perfect love in your relationships. Love demands that you sacrifice your time and resources for the welfare of your partner. Hope you now see that it actually costs a thing!
Relationship is not a child’s play neither is love a game.
Love as a commitment, ensures that it takes up the responsibility for is partner’s growth, success, failure and wellbeing. Love is not expressed as it is often seen in Hollywood movies, but its real essence is to know about its sacrificial and commitment nature.
Had many people asked themselves these questions, they would have addressed their problems before they encounter it.
With several years of experience in relationship, I strongly believe that these questions are indispensable which you need to ask yourself or your partner to be. Asking these questions would help you prepare yourself for the challenges ahead in your relationship and give you the right approach in solving them.
In no doubt, question one (Am I prepared for a relationship?) will help you meet the emotional and psychological demands of your relationship. Question two (Am I matured enough to handle this relationship?) will show you areas where you need to work on yourself. There is no possibility of having a successful relationship when you are immature.
Love is a popular subject that catches the attention of many but only few truly understands it. Your understanding of love as a sacrifice and commitment will help you know the task involved. Love is neither a feeling nor an emotional attachment.
Do you truly understand love?
These questions are indispensable and have been practically outlined to cover basic areas where relationship issues are mostly experienced.
