Whilst having a chit-chat with a pastor friend of mine in the cool of one evening, he shared some things with me that are non-negotiable which every serious and purpose minded youths must never down play. As he left, I brooded over these things and the Holy Spirit expounded more on it to me.
Are you contemplating on who to marry?
Do you major on the minor like their physical appearance, personality impression or material possession?
If you do, you’re only building your marital foundation on the things that would never stand the test of time when the realities of life comes.
What are these three things you must never compromise in your choice of who to marry? However, if you don’t have these things, you won’t be able to know those who fake them.
1. Jesus
Do you have Jesus? Does he or she have Jesus?
Going to church isn’t a proof that you have Jesus, just as sitting in a garage doesn’t make you a car.
A professor on financial management can be poorer than a church rat if he doesn’t possess financial skills that produce results.
When a person has Jesus, you will know it through the fruit they produce in and out of season. He or she that has Jesus has life, and they’re a true reflection of His person in character, pursuit and disposition to life. That a person has a Christian name or has been going to church since 1930 doesn’t mean they have Jesus. You possess Jesus when you consciously and deliberately strive to be like Him and live to please Him.
See, an unbeliever isn’t someone who doesn’t know God, even demons know God and they tremble; but he or she does not allow their knowledge of God to transform their lives through Jesus, but rather, they’re conformed to the world’s system.
When you marry someone who doesn’t have Jesus, the devil becomes your in law, and you’re yoked together with an unbeliever. Those who have Jesus walk in the Spirit but those who do not are ruled by their flesh, the opinion of men and worldly influences.
Can you see how dangerous it is to fall in love with such?
Next thing you must not be blind to is their…
2. Character
Yorùbás would say, “Èéfín ní wá,” meaning that character is a smoke. And the truth is that you can’t hide it for too long. When the right atmosphere comes, that smoke would produce a fire that could raze down a skyscraper in a twinkle of an eye.
Watch their character, don’t let your love be blind to it.
Whether they are rich or poor, believer or an unbeliever; it only takes a divine power to change a person’s bad behavior or character. An Harvard certificate in Emotional Intelligence or their social exposure cannot change it.
What you marry in a person is not only their physical appearance, you also marry their character. Don’t be deceived by their container, the content of their spirit and soul truly matters.
A person’s character would determine how they will treat you, your parent, friends or associates. A woman of a bad character is a no-no even if she’s as beautiful as a mermaid. A man who is tall, dark, rich and handsome, plus “caring” but lacks a good character is not a husband material, but a horseband.
Do they have an enviable character?
Check it out!
The last but also an important thing you must consider is their…
3. Purpose
What are they living for?
You can either live for purpose or for pleasure, and this goes a long way to determine the outcome of your marriage.
If there’s no compatibility in purpose, don’t manage the relationship, it won’t work. If you’re bent on becoming a change agent in the world, and he or she only wants to enjoy the societal accolades that comes with the married life, you will struggle to fulfill purpose in your marriage.
Marriage is not a final destination, it’s the beginning of a journey to a destination – purpose fulfillment.
If he’s politically ambitious and you’re Kingdom minded, it’ll be difficult for you to fulfill your divine purpose. Marriage can either help you fulfill your divine purpose or frustrate it. This is why you must seek God to know your divine purpose before you seek God on whom to marry.
Is he or she a pretentious “Christian” or a genuine child of God? What can others say about his or her character? Does he or she have a positive and eternal rewarding cause to live for or all their aspiration is to be earthly relevant but eternally miserable?
Never ignore these things in your choice of a life partner so you won’t have cause to regret your marriage when you are meant to enjoy it.
