Before a guy puts an engagement ring on your finger, or you’d flood your social media handles with, “I’m engaged pictures,” you owe yourself as a single lady to be the best before getting married.
While some ladies live their lives carelessly, a smart lady must live her life wisely and be smart.
I was shocked while doing some research before I write this post. Some online blogs assert that you must learn how to cook, chase your hobbies, get heartbroken (isn’t that weird?), travel, experiment with your looks, learn essential skills, set financial goals, get in shape, live alone, and blah blah.
While some of them sound good, many of them are deluding. Without having to go through a long list of things you should do before marriage, I have prudently trimmed them down to four easy things you can understand, memorize, and apply.
One word that connects the dots of these points is EMPOWERMENT.
The last time I checked my dictionary, empowerment means the granting of power to perform various acts or duties.
Before you step into a relationship or marriage, be empowered: Emotionally, Financially, Spiritually, and then, Purpose wise. You can use PEFS as a mnemonic to remember them; “Pefs” as in “Perf-ume”
Now, let me break it down for easy assimilation. I promise not to make this post an epistle. Believe me!
The first empowerment you must have as a lady is…
1. Emotional empowerment
I’ve come to realize in my close to a decade of relationship experience that an average lady is emotionally weak. This is what I mean. She can be emotionally manipulated by guys who know her weak point – the mumu button.
Being emotionally weak makes it easier for a guy to control you, so you won’t be logical when you relate with him. For instance, the popular scenario is equating sex with love. He’ll tell you to prove your love with him via sex, and if you say no, he’ll pressure, threaten, lure, or fool you to believe that love equals sex.
To be emotionally empowered, you must be mentally and spiritually empowered. Through wisdom and your spiritual stamina, you can be empowered emotionally.
2. Financially empowered
Don’t forget where we’re coming from, being empowered is having the power to perform various tasks. It is one thing to have money, it’s another thing to have the ability to make money – in a legit and godly way.
Ladies who are not financially empowered are easy prey for guys who have enough money to frolic with them. Because he knows you don’t have a dime, he’d ensnare you with money, or you’d be intimidated to do the wrong things with him because you’re not financially buoyant.
If your parents can’t help you financially, using what you have to get what you want isn’t the solution, be empowered financially. And here’s how.
Get a profitable skill set. Create value. Be a problem solver. Or start with a petty business. It might look meager, but it’s better than to prostitute your body for money or live at the mercy of a man. You can read more about financial freedom by clicking on this.
After those, you need…
3. Spiritual empowerment
If you agree with me that life’s spiritual, then you’re close towards liberation from those things that put most ladies in bondage which are not physical.
If you don’t want to be a victim of circumstances, you need to know God.
Scripture has it that those who know their God shall be strong and do exploit. What happens to those who don’t? Guess what, they’ll be weak and live a compromising life.
Be empowered to know God yourself. Have a relationship with Him. Master the art of prayer, be a student of the Word, fellowship with the Holy Spirit, and be spiritually sound.
Some things in life are way beyond the physical, emotional or financial, you need to fraternize with the Holy Spirit to be in control, else, you’ll be oppressed, possessed, or obsessed with vanities.
I hope you’re getting value?
Lastly, be empowered…
4. Purpose wise
If you don’t live for purpose before marriage, do not expect to have a great marriage. It is only a woman of purpose that would make sure she’s married to a man of purpose.
Trash out those mundane specs that most ladies have before marriage, it’s not outrightly bad to have a spec, but it’s worse when your spec becomes your priority.
See, marriage is more than living as couples, enjoying lovemaking unashamedly, doing pregnancy showers, making babies, becoming a mother, and all that. Be purposeful.
God created marriage for a purpose, the earlier you know this, the better you go in with the right mindset. Marry for a purpose, and not for pleasure. She who loves pleasure is dead while she lives.
To be empowered purpose wise, hate to be known for nothing. Beyond the pursuit of your fleeting passion, know why He created you, and pursue its fulfillment.
You’re not a smart lady because guys can’t break your heart or hymen – get you in bed – you’re a smart lady when you’re empowered in these four areas and you’re both earthly and eternally relevant.