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What comes to your mind when you hear the word “marriage?”
Does it scare you to the bone, or is it a sacred union that you look forward to experiencing the bliss of, contrary to what people have said about it? Or perhaps you have a mentality that says when it’s better, you stay; and when it’s worse, you leave.
Marriage can be beautiful or regrettable, depending on the choice you make and your attitude towards it. Meanwhile, the choice is yours to determine the kind of marriage you want to experience.
Of all the marriages that I have seen, heard about, or read about, they all fall into two major categories. You can either enjoy or endure yours. I reiterate that the choice is yours to make if you want to enjoy or endure marriage.
Many have said terrible and nasty things about marriage that you’d doubt its essence. If you’re not careful, those terrible things people say about marriage will build a stronghold in your mind and you will give up on doing what it takes to enjoy yours.
To enjoy marriage, there are things you should know and do, and if you want the reverse, there are things you also need to know and do.
Marriage is sweet, I can boldly tell you that, but first and foremost, you need to answer this question.
1. HAVE YOU BECOME THE RIGHT PERSON?
Who you are and who you have become over time will determine whether your marriage will be sweet or sour. You can’t enjoy marriage if you remain the way you are without working on yourself to be the best you can be.
Can you marry the kind of man or woman you have become?
If you don’t deal with that and you marry the right person, as it were, you’ll frustrate your relationship with them. Be the right person with the right character, maturity, and mentality.
Moreover, marriage is sweet, and it’s not a scam when you…
2. FIND THE RIGHT PERSON
For some, it takes time to find the right person, while for others, God’s mercy speaks, and they find the right person without having to struggle.
Pay the price to find the right person because it’s truly worth it. You can’t find the right person by using the wrong method. There’s a way the world will teach you how to find someone to marry, and there is a God who will guide you through the process of finding the right one for you.
It takes time to find the right person. It is not the day you finish secondary school that you will find the right person. It’s not even the day you graduate from the university that you’ll find the right person.
It is not even the day you start working that you’ll find the right person. Did you know that it wasn’t the day God gave Adam the job that He gave him a wife?
Why the rush to find the right person when you’re not ready for marriage in 1 or 2 years’ time? Why jump from Janet to John in search of the right person when you haven’t made yourself the right person by maximizing your single life?
Chances are high that you’d endure marriage if you left God out of your quest to find the right person. Did you think you could find the right person without Him? Never, you can’t, and I kid you not.
Involve Him, and don’t lean on your understanding. Your education, experience, and exposure are inadequate in guiding you to find the right person. Let God lead you if He’s truly your shepherd.
In all your findings, ensure you get it right so you won’t regret it. The next thing to note about this thing called marriage is that it is sweet when you…
3. MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON
You’d have heard me say that when the right person marries the wrong person, their relationship will be an endurance trek. You can’t enjoy what bliss in marriage is when you marry someone who is deficient in good character, you’re both incompatible, and they have the wrong mentality about marriage and how to relate to the opposite sex.
When I talk about compatibility, my focus isn’t on those mundane preferences people checklists as their yardstick for assessing compatibility. Of all the things you need to check to know if you’re compatible, it’s to see if you agree on purpose and destiny.
If you’re only compatible physically, financially, mentally, and emotionally, your marriage won’t be anything different from what people say about marriage.
All those minor things people major on were never in God’s mind when He created a wife for Adam. A wife was made for Adam on the basis of help, and she was meet (fit) for him.
What makes the person right is not about the outward look, but their…
- Maturity
- Mentality
- Compatibility in purpose and destiny
- And what God said
Marriage has a 60% chance of being successful when the two right people marry each other. Do all that’s in your ability to find and marry the right person. Mind you, marriage isn’t a necessary evil when you…
4. INVOLVE THE RIGHT PERSON
Assuming you marry the right person and you’ve become the right person, do you know your marriage can still fail when you involve the wrong person?
Here’s what God said about this matter.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24)
Leave your parents, pastors, or anyone who will have a negative influence on your marriage. Leaving talks about separation, and it does not connote dishonor. Rather, it means, do not let anyone or anything put you asunder.
Your work, ambition, the quest for green pastures, ministry, or career can destroy your union if you put them above your marriage.
Lastly, this thing called marriage can be successful if you…
5. APPLY THE RIGHT PRINCIPLES
The difference between the rich and poor is the principles they apply or ignore. You can’t enjoy marriage if you keep applying the wrong principles. Why do marriages fail due to irreconcilable differences, as many purports?
They applied the wrong principles.
If you get items 1-4 right, but you apply the wrong principles, that begins the failure of your marriage. The right principles to apply for a successful marriage are found in God’s word, not in the world or on social media.
When the Pharisees tempted Jesus to ask if it’s lawful to divorce one’s spouse, see what He said.
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female”. Interestingly, He further replied by saying, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:4,8)
What have you read? Where did you read the principles you’re applying or that you’d apply in your marriage?
There are many wrong doctrines flying all over social media regarding marriage principles. Someone who called herself a Christian asserted that women should accept the fact that men are polygamous in nature, and she mentioned David and Abraham to back up her claim. What a seductive and erroneous doctrine!
Marriage is sweet oh, but ensure you pay the price to find and marry the right person. More so, be the right person, so you won’t be a mismatch for the person you marry. You can enjoy marital bliss. Don’t let anybody badmouth marriage for you.
As I cap my pen, never forget this: it is easier to marry the right spouse when you involve God, but it is difficult to make the wrong person right in marriage, even if you involve Him.
