While growing up, I have always looked forward to having a blissful marriage because my parents were not fortunate to have one. Theirs was a marriage filled with domestic violence until the point they discovered that it is good that they should be alone.
Having grown up, the bad news about marriage was much more than the good news I heard. I have been told that marriage is difficult. Men are this, women are that. And all these compounded my fears about marriage.
Relationship coaches and counselors do not help matters either. I have heard so much from them that marriage is sweet, but they do not tell me all I need to know to make it sweet.
One told me marriage is sweet depending on the cutlery I use. Some went on to say that love, sex, finance, and several others make a marriage sweet. Others do not even know how to explain what should be done to make it sweet.
Voila! Like a newly discovered secret, it was found and revealed. For singles, you need to learn and imbibe these truths that make marriage sweet; and married couples could adjust wherever they might have gotten it wrong. And I can assure you that you would never regret reading this.
What are these things that make a marriage sweet beyond sex, love, and finances?
1. Be the right person
Marriage does not make a person right (responsible), a person makes himself right before marriage.
If you do not become the right person, you will make marriage hard if you were lucky to marry the right person.
Be the right person.
Possess the right understanding concerning marriage.
It takes time to become the right person because there are lots of breaking, molding, removing, learning, unlearning, and relearning that you would do to yourself.
Work on your weaknesses. Illustratively, if anger is your problem, work on it because anger rests on the bosom of fools and it destroys their marriage.
More so, don’t be a burden to who you would marry. Be mature: financially, spiritually, mentally, socially, and emotionally.
Maturity has nothing to do with your age, but it has a lot to do with your understanding and responsibility.
Be intentional about your personal development. And to be the right person, discover your divine purpose.
Above all, let God work on you to become the right person. If you can’t marry who you have become, do not go into marriage else you will ruin it.
2. Marry the right person
You can’t yoke a cat and dog together and would expect them to live in harmony. Never!
When the right person marries the wrong person, the marriage is bound to fail, in short, it becomes an endurance trek, or worse off.
But when the right person marries the right person, this is the beginning of their journey to marital bliss should they adopt subsequent principles.
Who then is the right person?
He’s a person who has made himself to be the right person.
He’s a person who has the right heart (motive) towards who he marries.
He’s a person who has allowed God to work on him or her over a long period – during their single years. Please, maximize your singlehood.
It’s difficult to find the right person on your own, this is why you need God.
Dating and the likes won’t help you unless you trust in the Lord with all your heart and you do not lean on to your understanding.
More so, you must acknowledge Him in all your ways until He directs your path to the right person.
3. Involve the right person
I discover that one of those things that makes marriage fail is third-party influence.
My parents say. My pastor says. My mentor or discipler says. My friends say. People are saying. I’m suspecting that. And so on.
While it may not be bad for these people to say, what is God saying to you?
If you do not involve God in your marriage, the chances are high that your marriage will be prone to crisis, especially unimportant issues.
Involve God. Know God yourself. Have a personal and joint relationship – you and your spouse – with God.
A marriage where God is at the epicenter is like a threefold cord that cannot be easily broken.
Mind you, when couples love God first, they love each other better.
Going to church alone does not mean God is involved in your marriage. He is, however, involved when He becomes the Alpha and the Omega in your marriage. Don’t allow men or women to take His place.
4. Apply the right principles
Life is governed by principles, hence, a sweet marriage is achieved by following the right principles.
There is a principle that leads to divorce, separation, physical or emotional abuse; and there are principles that foster love, respect, submission, commitment, and the likes.
Which principles concerning a sweet marriage do you know? And where or from whom did you learn it from?
While it is not bad to read good books on marriage, the best book to read is the Bible.
Do I sound religious?
Most bestselling books on marriage have their principles drawn out from the Bible. If you are a good student of the Bible, you would discover that most teachings these authors share have its root in the Scripture.
They only write to expand it for ease of understanding.
Study the first marriage God instituted. Study Bible characters who were married, both from the OT and NT. Check what Jesus and the Apostles say in their epistles concerning marriage.
The right principles for a successful marriage are not found in the world but uncovered from His word.
5. Have the right mindset
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
If you carry the wrong mindset into your marriage, do not expect yours to be blissful.
If you believe marriage is a black market or you make up your mind for the worse in it, you are likely not going to get the best from it.
Life is indeed full of uncertainty, likewise marriage, but a life where God rules will thrive no matter the challenges it may face.
Marriage is not a necessary evil. Don’t base your understanding of marriage on the experience of those around you – especially when it is negative.
You attract whatever you believe, and your marriage can’t be better than the mindset you have concerning it.
Having mind-blowing sex, expressing love like Romeo and Juliet, or having enough supply of money does not make a marriage sweet if you do not take to heart these five secrets you have learned. A successful marriage is much more than marrying your friend, of course, you won’t marry an enemy, but your friend may not be your soul mate. Just get it right!