Beverly and Smith had been married for over two decades. From the onset, their relationship has been rosy despite the challenges they had. They were lucky to survive the different phases of their relationship. But unfortunately, as they grow older, they began to grow apart. Beverly and Smith failed to do those things they initially do ab initio and this almost wrecked their marriage.
How can their marriage be restored?
It is one thing to be married and it’s another to remain married. Many usually plan for their wedding than the life after it – marriage. A successful courtship or blissful honeymoon does not determine the outcome of your marital life or makes a marriage successful, if the right things are not done in marriage.
Marriage is a special relationship that differs from other forms of human relationship. It takes many to make a team but it only takes two to make marriage work.
When two people constantly and mutually play their roles in marriage, success is not far from reach. For instance, if a driver fails to fill his fuel tank in a journey, it’s certain that the car will stop halfway no matter its brand and sophistication. The same thing applies to marriage.
What are these nonexclusive relationship must-haves?
Love to married folks is way different from lovemaking, it has to do with commitment, loyalty and so on. In fact, lovemaking is not the overall essence of marriage. You must be able to tolerate your partner’s weaknesses, past and shortcomings.
Love must continue despite the period of pregnancy, nursing a baby or any other challenges your spouse may face. It must be all about giving, forgiveness, understanding and several others.
Mind you, love that makes marriage thrive must be selfless, sacrificial and unconditional.
How grateful are you to God over your partner? Saying “Thank you” should not only be when something great is done, it should be said for the intangible care or little acts of kindness that’s received.
It is wrong to be ungrateful in marriage. You should always appreciate whatever is done to you by your spouse though you may not like it. The best way to tell a person you don’t like a gift is to first appreciate it and then encourage them to get you the kind of things you like.
How about saying thank you after lovemaking? Appreciate your partner for the gift of intimacy, beyond your right, it shows you cherish the act. Be also grateful for the meal that was prepared for you or for any act of kindness. Although, it may be their responsibility to do so, but appreciation propels them to do more and better.
Yes, you’re the boss at work, a prominent leader in the church or what have you, you need to forget all those because it won’t help your relationship. Make humility your culture, because pride destroys the life in marriage.
A man should not pride himself as the head, and likewise the woman should not take pride in her achievements. Do you know that a lion doesn’t boast itself as the king of the jungle because it is one already?
Do away with your exposure, experience, knowledge, wealth, status or what matters to you because they do not matter in your marriage. Marriage is a leveler. And if you do not see it that way, you are likely going to have issues.
You must be humble as you dwell with your spouse.
We are not perfect creatures or superhuman that would live without flaws. When you raise your expectations, dissatisfaction would be a norm. There are some issues that prayer alone cannot solve but it takes patience to deal with them.
For instance, it takes patience to see the change you want in your spouse. Impatience will lead to more friction.
Do not allow the level of patience you had prior to marriage reduce in marriage. Many feels since they have gotten what they wanted; it is right to always frown at their dissatisfaction in marriage. Your level of patience must increase so you can enjoy happiness in your marriage.
Remember, it takes patience to crack a hard nut.
Fears and doubt are detrimental to your marital success.
Fear is usually caused by worries, anxieties or from the issues of the past. You need to be optimistic, feed your faith and starve your fears. Your past has no hold over your life and relationship provided you do not dwell on it, and it has been dealt with.
Nevertheless, your relationship cannot experience joy or peace if Jesus is out of it. He must be invited into it before you can experience all the aforementioned.
Whatever made you marry is not the same thing that would keep you married. Love, patience, faith and humility are necessary to sustain you in marriage; however, it must be mutual. Do you have these things?