Marriage isn’t for boys and girls; the earlier you know this, the better it is for you. It is quite unfortunate that some people go into a love relationship claiming to be adults, but they’re still children.
As a lady, you can’t have a successful relationship when you’re married to a boy, and as a man, your relationship can’t be blissful when you’re hitched to a girl, or you fail to grow up.
The Holy Bible states, “There’s a time for everything in life.” There’s a time to grow and own up, and there’s a time to transit from childhood to adulthood. When a man fails to grow up due to his faulty upbringing or personal irresponsibility, the damage becomes colossal and irreparable to whoever he marries or fathers.
Let’s see what happens when you’re married to a man who’s a boy.
1. He becomes a pain in your neck.
There are people you’d marry and you’d be forever grateful because you made the right choice; whereas there are some you’d marry and your struggle continues. When a mature person marries an immature partner, issues are bound to happen.
When will you be a man indeed?
It’s terrible to be a wife or be fathered by a man who is a boy. When you’re married to a boy-man, all the responsibilities of a man become your duty, and your marriage becomes an endurance trek.
And when you’re fathered by a boy-man, you’d be deprived of those things you needed to be groomed as a child. Remember, a woman can’t singlehandedly raise a child to be a responsible adult the way a responsible father would have done.
2. You carry out his duty
It is sad that when a man is a boy, not only does his wife and children suffer, the society at large suffers as well. What makes you a man isn’t the size of your manhood or the huskiness of your voice; it’s your ability to fulfill the office of a man.
The failure of some men to take up their responsibility has made some women become the breadwinners of their families. The fact that a woman earns more than you as a man doesn’t mean your responsibility should be transferred to her.
When a man fails to take the initiative as a leader, priest, and father, a woman has no choice but to lead her children, secure them in prayers, and father them.
3. He becomes dependent
Boys don’t take responsibility for anything; they depend on others to provide for their needs. Don’t be surprised when you see some men who depend on others to provide for them without doing their best to get what they need.
These kinds of men depend on their uncles, parents, brothers, aunties, wives, or siblings to meet their needs. Don’t be married to such a man. A point should come in a man’s life that he’d outgrow being dependent. In most cases, nobody owes you anything in life. Work for what you need. There’s dignity and profit in labor.
4. He talks anyhow
The first sign of being a boy is how you speak. Boys who have the appearance of men talk without thinking because they don’t care about the feelings of their partners.
Men don’t talk anyhow; they courteously present their words, bearing in mind the impact they would have on their partners. Unfortunately, boys don’t taste their words; they allow their emotions to override their sense of reasoning.
Another way to recognize boys is that they yell when they’re angry. It is childish to raise your voice whenever you’re talking to your partner. Shouting at your partner doesn’t make you a man; it only shows how immature you are.
5. Anger mismanagement
It’s not a crime to be angry. However, it becomes foolish to be angry and sin.
In anger management, some men are like boys. When a boy is angry, he’ll find ways to express his anger by being violent or destroying things on sight. However, when a man is angry, he knows how to handle the moment, or he’d find prudent ways to manage it.
When he was a child, Apostle Paul said, he spoke as a child, he understood and thought like a child, but when he became a man, he put away childish things. Unfortunately, some men have refused to put away silly things, yet they brag about being a man.
However, one of the most important things that differentiates a man from a boy is the level of their understanding. It takes understanding to know how to relate to a woman or how to address relationship issues.
A man who lacks understanding isn’t fit for marriage. Do you know why? He’ll ruin it because of his childish mentality. For instance, it’s childish to reject your wife’s food because you’re angry with her. Real men don’t solve problems that way.
If you don’t grow up mentally, you’ll remain a boy, no matter your muscular build or six-packs. And hear this: understanding is a wellspring of life for those who have it.
Do you have understanding?
Understanding isn’t something you buy at the mall or supermarket, you can only get it when you grow up or ask God to give you in the place of prayer. Wisdom is the principal thing, but in your getting, get understanding.
6. He is tied to his mother
Real men aren’t tied to their mom’s apron; they have left a long time ago. Any man who depends on his mom to make decisions or live his life is a sissy – a mamas boy.
Scripture tells us to leave and cleave. Have you left as a man? Leaving doesn’t mean you should stop taking care of your mom; it only means that you shouldn’t allow her sentiments or bias to influence your life. A mamas boy cannot do anything without seeking opinion or permission from his mother – he just can’t.
Are you a man, or do some of the traits of a boy still manifest in your life?
I dedicate this post to the real and responsible fathers.