Was divorce part of God’s plan for marriage? Why do people end up with failed relationships due to their irreconcilable differences?
The genesis of most marital issue is first traceable to the unsuitableness of the parties involved; this may not be seen at the initial stage of their relationship, but as years go by, it would suffice.
Relationship failure, marriage breakage and broken engagements can be most times traced to the issue of wrong partner, habitual or unforeseen circumstances.
God designed marriage this way: a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (suitable help meet). But when a boy leaves to cleave to a wife or a man cleaves with a girl, you should expect this kind of relationship to be problem bound.
That everything seems blissful when two wrong persons marry or the right one marries the wrong one, doesn’t mean it’ll end well, it’s only a matter of time when you’d begin to notice the crack that would split the union.
Why do some people end up with the wrong partner when they know that there’s a suitable partner somewhere? The following points spells out the cause.
1. Impatience
There’s time for everything in life. When you do the right thing at the wrong time, you should sure expect crisis in such matter.
Why would you hurriedly get yourself into relationship when you’re truly not ready for it? Why would you allow someone else timing set you up for a ‘quick’ marriage?
That you’re of age doesn’t mean you are old enough to get married. Marriage doesn’t only change status, it comes with a responsibility, and if you’re not ready to face the huge responsibility, you’ll settle down for the wrong person.
2. Desperation
That all your mates are getting married shouldn’t flame up the desperation of getting married in you. Why will you be in haste to get married because your biological clock is ticking fast?
Anything done in desperation can’t end well. Take your time to prepare yourself for marriage, rather than allow desperation push you into the wrong marriage when you could have clearly seen better if you had waited some more.
It’s easier to avoid the wrong partner before marriage than to find a solution for the wrong partner in marriage. Don’t be desperate!
3. Leaning on your own understanding
Do you know that marriage is first spiritual before physical? If you lean on your understanding through the likes of dating, cohabiting or doing all sorts that exclude God in your quest for a marital partner, you’ll end up with the wrong partner.
There are some things that your education, exposure or experience cannot help you with in life especially on the matter of whom to marry.
And there’s no how you would employ worldly gimmicks to find the right partner, it’s better you depend on God so you don’t end up with the wrong partner.
4. Acting under pressure
“Mom’s telling me to bring a man”. “Dad’s asking me who’s she?” “My friends are asking me who’s the lucky woman/man.” While all these may not be bad, do not let them provoke you to marry.
No matter the pressure that may be mounted on you to get married, if you dont get some things in place, dont think of marriage even if you seem to be of age. You know why? Chances are high that you’d settle for the wrong partner.
Dont rush to marry if you haven’t developed yourself emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially and mentally to a point where you can live with a man or woman.
That everybody is putting pressure on you doesn’t mean you should marry even if you have an apartment, a good job or posh cars. Do the right thing than to allow people push you into the right thing when you’re not prepared for it.
Remember, you can’t enjoy a hot tea when you’ve scalded your tongue!
5. Lack of divine guidance
Much issues in most relationship would have been largely avoided if only many do not ignore the place of divine guidance in their choice of who to marry.
I reiterate, marriage is first spiritual before physical, you need God to guide you to know the right partner. That he or she appears to be all that you wanted in a spouse doesn’t mean he or she is the right one for you.
Take time to pray, wait and allow God to make things work out for you in His own timing.
Let God lead you into that relationship rather than allow impatience, pressure, desperation, physical circumstances, or your carnal desire to lead you in there.
6. Family trend
Do you know that there are repetitive trends in many families? As it is with their first generation, so is it with their second generation.
In some families, they don’t marry right. Most of them usually end up with the wrong spouse, no matter how good they are or have prayed. It’s usually like mother, like daughter or like father, like son syndrome.
If you ever notice this kind of trend in your family, don’t panic, all that you must do is to pray your way out of such evil trend lest it find its way in your own relationship. Pray until you break out of that evil family pattern.
7. Third-party influence
I have seen those whom God guided on their choice of who to marry, but end up with the wrong person because of a third-party influence.
You might be privileged to marry the right partner, but if you allow a third-party influence affect your relationship or your choice of who to marry, it would affect your life and marital destiny.
Do not allow parental influence or any form of external influence put your relationship asunder. You must ensure you’re closely bonded with God because a three-fold cord is not easily broken when God is involved in the union.
Are you at the verge of making a marital decision? Don’t rush or be in haste. Don’t lean on your own understanding and let God guide you even if you know what you want. What you want might not be what He wanted for your life.
If you can get it right in the choice of the right partner, a larger percentage of your problems in life have been solved provided you also make yourself the right partner. Above all, let God guide you into marrying the right partner!
