Unbelievably, marriage has been called several names by several people based on their experiences – it’s bitter, sweet or bittersweet because of their encounters in it.
To some, marriage is believed to be hard work, yes, it’s true; some say it’s a school where you learn, they’re right; some say marriage is a necessary evil, was that in God’s mind when He created it? But many have also failed to tell us that marriage is a “tester.”
Like a clinical thermometer, some situations in marriage will test your temperature, whether it’s high or low. If you claim to be ready for marriage, you will know when you get there. If you say you can’t live without him or her when the fire of ecstasy burns intensely in you, wait a little to see if that flame won’t cease in marriage.
Am I scaring you with these?
No, you need to know this so you can prepare your mind when you’re faced with reality in marriage, after the romance fizzles.
There are many things marriage will test in you, but the ones listed below are the essentials, and I would present them in series.
1. Patience
Do you think you’re patient enough while single?
Oh, wait and see until you’re married. Your spouse or in-laws would test this virtue in you, either deliberately or unconsciously.
It takes patience to be a husband, and likewise to be a wife. Truth be told, you need patience to have a successful marriage. When patience is thrown out of your life, or that of your spouse, issues such as misunderstanding, anger, suspicion, and others would manifest.
When your partner fails to do what you want them to do when you need it, your patience will be tested. Do you know that patience is needed for effective communication?
Communication is way more than talking and listening. You need a great deal of patience to listen to understand rather than seek to be understood.
Patience isn’t something you earn as a Harvard degree, it’s a fruit of the spirit and a nature that must manifest in you. Marriage would test how patient you are when your spouse denies you sex, it would really test a lot of things in you.
If patience hasn’t been added to your luggage as you prepare for marriage, add it now. You need it to resolve conflicts, relate with your in-laws, or any third-party interference, and to enhance your spouse’s growth and development because you can’t grow at the same level.
I wish I could tell you where to buy it, but the only way to get it is to allow God to impart you with its virtue.
Do you have patience? Check it out!
You can’t tell if you have it now until you’re married. Singles may fake being patient because they do not want to act unruly, but in marriage, their level of patience would be tested.
To your patience, add…
2. Understanding
You don’t know your other half enough until you start living with them. It’s not that they’re deceitful while single, but their true self is not who you’ve understood.
Do you understand the principles that make for a successful marriage? Do you comprehend how to relate with a man or woman in marriage? Do you even know how to deal with issues in marriage? All these and many more are the levels of understanding you need which marriage would test.
The story was told of Smith Wigglesworth’s wife whose husband was suffering from a bout of depression. After the medical solution failed, she rose up in courage and rebuked the devil behind her husband’s depression. How did she know it was a spirit that was behind it?
Understanding is your ability to discern the root cause of a problem and proffer the right solution to it. It is knowing what to do in the face of a crisis, and wisdom is the application of the right solution without shadow boxing.
God gives understanding, and few ones can be obtained from books. Meanwhile, if you lack understanding, your marriage will hit the rocks because of trivial issues.
Before we shall consider other things marriage would test in you, what’s the level of patience and understanding you have as a person? You can’t have an excess of these, but a deficit in any of these is detrimental to your marital bliss.
Don’t go into marriage when these are scarce in your life, and in marriage, get more of them.
Watch out for the next series.
