Dear Christian lady, I hope you are still grounded in the faith that has been delivered to you and you have not departed from it? May the mercy, grace, and peace from our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
I write this letter to you because some of you have been unable to strike the balance between love and feelings. Do you know what it feels like to be loved? Do you know how it feels like to have someone who loves you and he reciprocates the same? Have you ever been in love where the feeling is mutual?
Feeling is real. And that you are a Christian does not make you immune to it. Even anointed and spiritual people have feelings, they do not just allow it to rule their spirit.
Feeling is that part of you that makes you emotional. It makes you attracted to a particular brother in the church, teenage class, neighborhood, or in the choir department.
Dearly beloved, love doesn’t come at first sight, but inevitably, feelings could be sparked up when you see him for the first time. This is why something in you would just click and you’d find yourself admiring him for no just cause.
Mind you, a brother can ignite your feelings through his physical appearance, personality impression, spiritual charisma, social relevance, financial worth, or material possession. These are not enough reasons to fall in love with him.
Dear church girl, feelings are fleeting. You can only sustain it for as long as you get a steady supply of what attracted you in the first place.
Don’t make feelings a yardstick in your choice of a marital partner. Never allow frequent communication or attention to necessitate your feelings for a brother.
Brothers know it when you have feelings for them. Don’t slide into his inbox and do online visitation. Don’t dig into his profile or follow every post of his as if you are his secret disciple.
It is not enough to fall in love with him based on feelings, you need to know beyond the realm of flesh and blood that he is the one for you.
You can be a slave to your feelings if you allow it to cloud your spirit man. Feelings can talk to you while you’d think it was God. The multitude of your feelings can give you a dream concerning that brother.
Pray to God. Be more spiritual than you’d be carnal. Don’t just have your personal devotion to fulfill all righteousness or make it a ritual; cultivate a personal relationship with God where you’d hear Him clearly – above the storms of passion and the murmurs of self-will.
Feelings would deceive you, but God can never mislead you. Never make the decision on who to marry based on feelings because when the realities of life come, you’d discover that feelings cannot weather the storm.
Trust me, it is normal for you to have feelings, it’s that part of our humanity, but it’s abnormal to act based on your feelings alone.
Is God leading a brother to you and you have no feelings for him?
If you have done the needful and you are sure, and it has been confirmed in the mouth of two or three witnesses, ask Him for grace to accept His will.
Godly feelings can grow with time, love, and patience. Don’t send your Isaac away because Ishmael looks like the one you want. Many church girls or sisters have missed His will because they walked by sight and they do not live by faith.
More so, don’t feel or assume you have met the right brother because you seem to have butterfly bubbles in your belly.
What is Baba saying? Does he match up with what He has revealed to you? Do you have peace of God that comes after you have prayed through, not emotional bliss that comes from excitement?
Don’t trust your feelings or make major life decisions on it; subject it to thorough prayer, time, (and), or validation from godly witnesses. It is better to be judged rigid and get it right than to be careless and miss it in marriage.