Table of Contents
Falling in love is like a virus; for as long as blood runs through your veins, whether you’re a Christian or not, you’ll contract the virus sooner or later, except if you take preventive measures or you avoid doing it at the wrong time.
It is a common trend in the body of Christ that some young Christian ladies aren’t properly guided or they fail to open up their love lives to those who can help them, thereby falling in love with the wrong person and at the wrong time.
Sadly, the failure of some parents to provide an enabling environment for their children to freely relate to them has pushed some women to seek love in the wrong places because charity did not begin at home.
Unfortunately, too, some churches did not incorporate programs that would expose and equip young ladies to resist the temptation of falling in love at the wrong time, and this has made many of them have one or two negative experiences with love.
Are you a Christian lady and you’re admiring, crushing, or liking a brother in your church secretly? Or is a particular person in or outside the church trying to woo you either subtly or strategically?
Before you fall in love and crash land, understand these things and do the following.
1. It is not a crime to fall in love
Wired in us by God is a desire to love and be loved. It is normal to be in love, but you should understand that there are things you should do before you fall in love.
How grounded are you spiritually before you embark on the journey of love? And what’s the position of God in your life? Have you discovered your divine purpose? Do you know the divine direction your life should go?
These, and many more, are the things you should understand before you fall in love. This is why Solomon told us that love shouldn’t be awakened when the time isn’t right.
My dear, it’s not a crime to fall in love, but you need to do so when it’s right.
Before you fall in love, ensure that you do the right things and that you’ve built the capacity to be in a loving relationship. When you grow older than this, you’ll know that feelings and love are two different things.
2. Feeling is different from love
Until you understand that there is a wide difference between love and feelings, you’ll mistake feelings for love. Love is a decision and it is God’s command, but feelings are temporal and fleeting.
Love is way more than feelings because it’s only for those who are mature. Love isn’t for boys and girls, or even teenagers or those adults who have barely just escaped their teenage years, can’t love the right way.
You can have feelings for a brother because of how he made you feel, or perhaps his physical appearance, personality impression, or spiritual charisma catches your fancy. For instance, how he interprets the Bible, talks, leads prayer sessions, or coordinates activities may throw you off balance, but that’s not love. It’s easy to develop feelings for a person from afar, but when you get closer, their character may repel you.
To love and be committed in a relationship goes deeper than your feelings. That brother you admire or have a crush on may not be the right person for you, even if he’s loved and celebrated by all.
Love demands sacrifice and selflessness, and it’s unconditional. Meanwhile, you can only enjoy love when you fall in love with the right person and at the right time.
3. There’s time for everything
There’s a time you should be in love, and there is a time you should never fall in love. It is not good that you should be in a relationship (in love) with any brother when it is good that you should be alone.
Being single isn’t a curse or disease; it’s a blessing and a preparatory stage for adult and married life. If you fell in love when you should be single, you’d dent your adult life with the scars that come with falling in love at the wrong time.
Now that you know you’re not ready for marriage, pursue those things you need to attain without distraction. If you commit your heart to love now, that’s not right. You’d be exposed to the evil people do because of their ignorance of what true love is.
Use this time to build capacity and improve your values. As a lady, you must groom yourself to be extraordinary, irreplaceable, and indispensable. Don’t lose sight of who you want to become, and let nobody talk you into a relationship when the time isn’t right. Doing this doesn’t make you a tomboy or a feminist; it only shows how wise you are to barricade your heart.
Don’t open your heart to love when the time isn’t right; guard it with all diligence.
4. Guard your heart
Some of you will be familiar with the above phrase because it’s in the Bible. However, you need to guard your heart with all diligence so you won’t fall in love when the time isn’t right.
Can I tell you something?
The first place the devil attacks in the lives of people is their hearts. He did that effortlessly on Eve and she ate the forbidden fruit.
Don’t have an idol or make one particular brother your secret idol. If you do so, you’d become an idol worshipper, and it would be easy for the devil to lead you into tempting situations with him.
Guard your heart against those feelings or inordinate affection you may have for any brother when he’s not the right person for you. A sister told me that she specifically prayed away the feelings she had for brothers until she met her husband. You can also do that.
No matter how spirit-filled you are, you’re not immune to feelings, and that’s normal. The only problem is that when you follow the direction of your feelings, you relapse into carnality.
So, guard your heart with all diligence so that you won’t fall into one of the issues of life – heartbreak, premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy, and the like. When the time is right, you can open up your heart to love the right person because love is sweet when you fall in love with the right person.
5. Love is sweet
And truth be told, love becomes sweeter than honey when you’ve become the right person and you’re in love with the right Christian brother who mutually expresses true love to you.
Forget all those nasty things people have called love. Those who fall in love at the wrong time usually fall into the hands of the wrong person, and they have a bad story to tell. A wrong thing that is done at the wrong time is wrong, and the right thing that you do at the wrong time is equally wrong.
Wait for the right time to be in love. Wait for the right person. The right person may not come from your church or denomination. Don’t limit God. And the right time may not be when you graduate from university or two years after you’re gainfully employed.
I wish I could tell you the right time, but let God lead you the way a shepherd leads the sheep. He makes everything beautiful in its time, not yours.
Love is sweet o, but be the right person, wait for the right time, and fall in love with the right person.
I tell you, you won’t regret it.