Most weddings you attend – either the traditional, church or sometimes during the reception – would always have a time where the groom would be told to carry his bride. This period is usually fun to behold because you’d see some grooms who struggle to carry their brides while some are unable due to their weight or size.
Is this practice just a ritual, routine, or there’s a reason behind it? Think about it!
Marriage, as beautiful as it is, is a relationship that would test the strength you’ve got. Many who aren’t prepared for the realities of married life usually chicken out when they’re faced with the challenges of life in it.
Whether you like it or not, challenges would come in marriage. Some, you can carry, some, it would take time to carry them, while some, it’s like a battle which you must fight together with your spouse.
If you’re preparing for the wedding now that you’re single without gathering the strength you need is a misplaced priority. As good as a wedding is, it’s just a day event, but marriage is for a lifetime, provided you’re brewed for it.
Spend more time building your financial muscles. No one prays for a financial crisis in marriage, but when it happens, can you bear its weight pending the time you or your spouse bounces back to life? Either male or female, have a stable source of income, or streams of it.
It’s a selfish and childish mentality for a lady to believe her money is for her, and that her husband’s money is for both of them. Don’t be a financial burden or liability to him in marriage, be his helpmeet, not his headache.
It wows me when I hear that a man impregnates another woman because of his wife’s infertility issue. Why did you do that if you can carry her physically, but back out because you can’t carry her “weight” due to her infertility issue?
Friend, romance can’t carry anything in marriage, prepare for the realities of life in it. If an athlete believes that by taking ice cream, chocolate, cheese, and pizza, he’d be strong enough to win the Olympics, he’s a clown.
Consume “foods” that would give you strength in life and marriage. And if you’re single reading this, eat for the journey (in marriage) is far. It’s one thing to be married, it’s another thing to stay married. Don’t rush to be married when you don’t have the strength to stay married.
One of the foods that would strengthen you in marriage is knowledge. It is good to read books on marriage and relationships, but if you can’t apply the knowledge you acquire, you’re no better than an ignoramus.
Get the right knowledge that would sustain you mentally, financially, spiritually, and emotionally in marriage so you won’t be destroyed when knowledge is the only thing that would bail you out of the situation you might find yourself in it.
Another food that is highly nutritious in marriage is understanding. It is so sad that a deficiency in this has cost many of their blissful relationship with their spouses. Lack of understanding is one of the leading causes of divorce which is often tagged with “irreconcilable differences.”
Knowledge is good, but when you internalize and comprehend its application, it becomes understanding. Get both secular and spiritual understanding in marriage. Some issues in life and marriage are beyond the physical, it takes spiritual understanding to swim out of many.
Finally, get wisdom.
Wisdom is the application of the knowledge you understood. If you know that 2+2=4, can you apply it in a situation where you have 4÷2?
Meanwhile, there are two kinds of wisdom: divine and devilish wisdom. You need divine wisdom to handle some tough situations that are beyond ordinary. You need it to solve problems, and you need it to relate with your spouse. It is wisdom for a wise woman to build her house, and it’s wisdom for a wise man to protect the builder.
Can you bear the weight of the person you want to marry? Can you bear the weight of their past, present, and what is likely to unfold through them in the future (we don’t pray for adversity, but you need strength not to faint when it comes)? Can they bear yours?
Brothers, and sisters, ladies and gentlemen, marriage is more than romance. As you fantasize about your dream kind of man or woman, ensure they have the strength to bear the weight of your partner and whatever circumstance that comes your way in marriage.
It isn’t enough that he has six packs abs and big biceps; or that she’s a tough and independent woman. Do they have what it takes to carry you or your weight in marriage?
Above all, marry who you can carry.
“A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength” (Proverbs 24:5 KJV)
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
“For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6 KJV)
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2022