In a bid to make the most of a dating relationship, most people tend to believe, or at least some believe that sharing the same roof with their lover would help them know each other better. Based on this ideology, the concept of cohabitation was initiated.
There are several reasons members of the opposite sex lives together. Some are caused by the accommodation issue they have in school, financial challenges, or ignorance amongst others. Nevertheless, the focus of this post is to navigate the waters of cohabiting whether it’s good or bad.
According to an online community, RantHq, members were asked if there are merits or demerits in cohabitation. You’d be surprised to read different views people have concerning this issue; some spoke against it, while a few supported it. But from a standpoint of truth, I’d shed more light on why you should not allow it – at all.
Whether it’s a partial (spending the weekends or some days) or full cohabitation, living together as couples when you’re actually not married has many dangers attached to it. Listed below are the ills of permitting such in your relationship.
Do you know that married couples stand the risk of becoming too familiar with each other if care isn’t taken? Familiarity breeds contempt.
If you tolerate such as lovers, or boyfriend and girlfriend, the rate at which you’d be bored with each other is high because you’d get to a “see finish” stage. And if there’s nothing exciting about each other and the relationship, infidelity, and lack of respect would set in.
You can’t cohabit with each other for years or months and stay faithful or committed to each other. Never get to the point where “babe, good morning” will turn out to be “how far or what happened.”
2. Lack of novelty
When two people who are in love live apart, and the forbidden fruits haven’t been eaten or tasted, chances are high that they would be excited or look forward to exploring the gift of sexual intimacy.
However, in a situation where there is nothing to anticipate, the wedding night would look like every other day in bed; and “you may kiss your bride” becomes a usual thing.
More so, what newlyweds who abstained from sexual intimacy looked forward to in their wedding becomes disinteresting to you, and having an affair sets in.
See, cohabitation kills every “excitement” there is to enjoy in marriage when you subscribe to it. Your life becomes like a test-driven product and loss of interest in your partner would set in.
3. Loss of value and respect
How much premium would you place on something you have used over and over again coupled with over-familiarity?
New products attract value because they’ve not been used or explored. Meanwhile, the rate at which you will lose value and respect when you cohabit is high.
Why should a man appreciate what has been depreciated in value or worth? Why should a lady regard a man who she has been used to? If you truly want to command respect and value to a large extent, say no to cohabitation.
4. Disrespect to your parents
Picture yourself as a parent with a child who eloped with a lover without the formal process. How would you feel if this happened to you? Now, be sincere. I know you’d feel bad, even if you want to shy away from the truth.
This is exactly what cohabitation does to your parent. I know you have your life to live, but disobedience to your parents shortens your days on earth. There are many scars and regrets you’d experience when you cohabit with someone you’re not married to.
It’s a lie from the pit of hell that living together makes you know each other better; that’s far from the truth even if it sounds logical. Obey your parents, it’s a legacy; and if you disobey them, you’re setting up a negative trend.
5. It’s sinful
Do you know that it’s not a trivial matter when the Bible says marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled?
Cohabitation desecrates the sanctity of marriage, and premarital sex corrupts the sacredness of marital sex. There’s no way you’d live together as lovers that you won’t see what you shouldn’t see, touch the forbidden, express affection the way you shouldn’t, or do what is only permissible in marriage.
It’s sinful to cohabit with someone you’re not married to, no matter how well society paints a good picture of it. Although you’d see yourselves as lovers, in God’s eyes, you’re fornicators.
The dangers of cohabiting are more than any “benefits” you’d be told it provides. It’s a bad foundation and an ungodly route into marriage. I’m sure you know that you don’t need to live together before marriage to learn about each other. If you’d learn about each other, be yourselves and be transparent.
You can’t learn about each other when you cohabit because you’d try to put on your best selves. And in marriage, your real self and that of your partner would manifest. The best way to learn and know each other without cohabiting is to mutually say no to pretense, communicate and be honest. Anything other than that is evil.