That was the exact thought that dropped in my mind one fateful evening as I ruminated on my conversation with my better half.
Marriage doesn’t have a general formula like Boyle’s Law or Avogadro’s Law which is widely used and accepted. However, marriages are built on principles, especially the right ones. Principles work if they are understood and applied.
Some principles make for successful or failed marriages, meanwhile, methods differ. Methods are ways of applying principles. For instance, there are different methods of preparing white rice. You can either parboil it or boil it without removing the water. The major principle here is to boil it and apply salt to taste.
In marriage, the method that works for couple A may not work for couple B because no two marriages are the same. God created marriage and has made known the principles that make them successful, but there are different methods you can apply to achieve yours.
Do you know what works for you in that marriage?
For instance, the issue of a joint account may not work for you if you and your spouse don’t share the same values on financial principles. If you force the issue of having a joint account in your marriage the outcome could be chaotic.
A husband or wife who is prodigal in spending may not successfully run a joint account in their marriage. They would be fine if they adopt the financial method that works for them.
However, a principle would work for you if you have no issues obeying it and there is a mutual agreement. You don’t need to copy or imitate what others do in their marriage if it doesn’t work out in yours; or must you force it to happen.
Try it out, if a method works fine, continue it, but if it does not, discard it. Meanwhile, the major principles of love, submission, and understanding amongst others must be adhered to.
Also, note that the way couple A may love each other or what they do to interpret as love would be different from how couple B expresses love to each other. Know what works for you and do it religiously. Don’t copy. Don’t compare. Do not compete.
And to my single brothers and sisters, do what works for you.
Foremost, understand the principles that make for a great relationship, then seek out the methods that work between the two of you. If calling your partner three times a day is okay for you, do it; and if it is one call per day, enjoy it.
It’s lack of contentment or the temptation of comparison that makes people compare their marriage, or relationship with others. Don’t compare chapter ten of someone else’s marriage or relationship with your chapter one.
Study and understand each other, then know what’s going to work out in yours. It is not by force to dress uniformly or have a joint account. It is never a must that you and your spouse must do what other couples do if it doesn’t work out for you.
There would be fewer issues or friction in many marriages if couples do what works best for them. Avoid comparison, it steals, kills, and destroys happiness, harmony, and love. But embrace contentment, understanding, and agreement; they strengthen the bond of intimacy in your marriage or relationship.
I hope I’ve been able to convince you to do what works for you in your relationship and not to confuse you.
