Premarital sex has been one of the major issues singles face in their relationship, but the sad thing is that some “Christians” are not left out. Sex is good for the body because God created it, but having it outside marriage where He ordains it is outright evil.
Some are saying no sex before marriage is a scam, while others are of the opinion that it is impossible, but only a few embrace abstinence until marriage.
But think about this: when the disadvantages of a thing outweigh its advantages, isn’t it wise to desist from such? The negative effects of sex before marriage outweigh its benefits.
Are you having issues with your partner on the issue of sex or no sex before marriage?
Learn some tips from the following conversation that ensued between my conversation with a lady.
Lady: Sir, how do I cope with my partner who wants sex before marriage?
HRI: Define what you need from the relationship.
Can you differentiate between your needs from your wants? Needs are something needed to survive, but wants are something people desire to have. When needs are met, it’s rewarding, but when some wants are wrongly met, it likely comes with guilt or a silent form of condemnation.
If your partner wants sex, do you need it? Can’t he or she survive without it? If you don’t need it, then tell yourself the truth and talk about it to your partner.
You have no business staying in a relationship that does not meet your needs or despise your purity values, amongst others. Don’t be emotionally blinded.
Lady: Okay sir. What if he insists?
HRI: There’s power in insistence if you do not take the bull by the horn – say NO, and mean it.
Delilah persuaded Samson until he yielded to her request. If your partner keeps insisting, it’s wisdom to use the exit door if premarital sex isn’t in your priority now, otherwise, you would fall into it.
Mind you, you will shoot yourself in the leg if your partner’s understanding of sex before marriage is wrong. How do I mean?
Your partner’s sexual orientation determines how you’d both cope with sexual matters.
Lady: Hmmm. Thank you, sir. But what if my partner helps me in one way or the other?
HRI: I believe this is an issue most ladies face.
When you make a man your god, he becomes your idol; then you worship him and become his prey. This is why some men who offer assistance to ladies don’t blink an eye when they request for sex, even when they know it is wrong.
Now, this is my advice to ladies.
Don’t prostitute yourself for financial or material favors. It’s high time ladies awoke the survival instinct in them. You can make it without having premarital sex or use your body to get what you want.
Think of what you can do in a godly and legitimate way that would make you independent financially. It won’t be rosy for a start, but trust me, it’ll be worth it in the long run.
When a man sees that you are financially independent, you earn more of his respect, and he won’t be able to bait you with money or material items most men use to lure naive ladies.
Lady: Whoa! This is great sir. Would you advise that I call it quit?
HRI: Thank you. Well, these are my thoughts.
First, count the cost. If you give him what he wants – sex – which he can survive without, would you honor God by doing so?
Aside from sinning against God, can you bear the consequences of premarital sex? Even if you use condoms or he does, don’t you think having premarital sex would expose you to problems emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically?
There’s more to sex than the heightened physical pleasure. Most people do not know this.
Second, do you think giving him what he wants would make him cherish you? Even if he does, it’s only “while the offer lasts”; when he’s done with you, he moves away.
Third, don’t think giving him sex would make him marry you. Premarital sex in most cases does not lead to marriage, and if it does, it is a terrible way to start a relationship or a nasty thing to do. I’m sure you know the outcome.
Lady: Thank you very much for this piece of advice.
HRI: The pleasure is mine.
Parting words…if you find yourself in this kind of relationship whether male or female, tell yourself the truth. Most times we know the truth, we only want someone to “encourage” us to do evil or strengthen our conviction to live right.
The damage premarital sex does outweigh the pleasures it brings.
See you next time on this Q&A episode. Should you have issues you need clarification on without being judged, shoot me a mail on firstname.lastname@example.org.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.