My parents disapprove of my choice of who to marry, what should I do?
Ideally, parents are not to take the position of a dictator when it comes to their children’s marital choices, they can only lead, guide, counsel, or pray for them. But in the event that they become the umpire, what should the children do?
There are two responses to this question.
First, a parent can have a say by interfering with their children’s choice of who to marry when they have spiritual oversight over their children. When I mean spiritual oversight, I mean they can see beyond what their children can’t see in their choice, and it’s not about being sentimental, but spiritual maturity.
You’d agree with me that in most cases what an elder would see by sitting on a seat, a child who goes atop a cliff won’t see it. It borders on experience and spiritual maturity.
Hence, they can have a say.
But on the flip side, when their basis for interference is subjected to tribal bigotry or ethnic preference, the children should pray very well, especially when they’re sure God’s bringing them together, and not their emotions or feelings.
You know some parents can be funny, they’ll tell you not to marry a particular tribe, it could be from their past experiences with people from that tribe, fear or assumptions.
I listened to a woman who called into a radio program to share her experience with in-laws. She had a terrible experience to have been married to a particular tribe in Nigeria, and when it was the turn of her daughter to be married, her daughter fell in love with a man from that tribe she detests. Somehow, she allowed her to marry him. And today, her son-in-law is the best thing that has happened to her.
Take your stand in the place of prayers and lines would fall in pleasant places for you. Although it may tarry, it would surely come to pass provided it is God’s will.
That God said David would be king doesn’t come to him on a platter of God, I’m sure you know he fought battles before he could be enthroned. Pray very well, and have a great deal of patience.
But if you’re not convinced that your choice is from God, and you proceed, in the long run, why they object against it would play itself out in your marriage.
If they vehemently oppose it, why not have a rethink to see where they could be right and you might be wrong? Either way, their objection might be God’s way of saving you from plunging into future regrets, or perhaps, it might be the devil’s way of preventing you from having God’s best maritally.
Pray that He would touch their hearts, and reconfirm if your marital choice is God’s will, or your emotion is only acting out.
The crux of the matter is this: be sure that your marital choice is God’s will and not just a carnal decision. Then, embrace patience. Marriage is more than, “I love her, or he loves me so much” it’s a journey that is not without its challenges. But when Christ is in the boat, and you’re with the right person according to His will, you’ll weather the storm.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
