Is it good to tell someone I want to marry or date my secrets and past?
But here’s my caveat: never cast your pearls before swine lest they rend you.
Don’t reveal your past to someone you’re not fully sure you’re going to marry or would marry you.
You see, I have issues with this “dating” terminology. It’s uncertain that you’d be married to someone you’re dating. This is why most people have exes.
They dated when they were teenagers. After that didn’t work as planned, they were caught up in another dating relationship when they got to the university. Because they thought they knew better, the relationship only lasted before they graduated.
Now that they seemed to be ready for marriage, they have dated more than three persons within one decade of their lives.
Why the trial and error?
If you’re sure that it’s certain that you two would be married, it’s proper to reveal your past. Let them know if they’d be able to cope with what you’re bringing into the relationship.
After all, beyond the issue of physical intimacy, Adam and his wife were naked and unashamed. Lay everything blares on the altar of transparency so that what you intend to keep secret wouldn’t affect your relationship in the nearest future.
However, be careful not to reveal graphic details of your past. It’s better, as a lady to tell your partner that you were no longer a virgin, that’s ideal; than to paint the whole picture of the process that made you deflowered, your other half may not be able to overlook that.
Reveal what is necessary, and keep the unnecessary ones to yourself.
And if you want to know what’s necessary or unnecessary, use this approach.
It’s necessary to reveal any past mistake that may affect your relationship such as having a love child, abortion, severe crime or social vice. Any secret that could affect your fertility, relationship bliss, or emotional, spiritual, mental, or financial wellbeing should be made known.
However, it’s needless to paint the whole picture of how it happened. Tell them what they need to know and keep the irrelevant details to yourself.
The beauty of any love relationship is to be naked and unashamed in all aspects. Consequential secret ruins intimacy and breaks trust. Avoid it.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
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