Good evening I read, your article on premarital sex, and I have a question, what if you and your partner started without sex and had an agreement to that effect, then you both went against the agreement and had sex a couple of times, But the lady always feels guilty after the incidence and want to stop it, but does not know how to go about it…What is she to do in this instance?
You should understand that what makes illicit sex sweet and pleasant to a person is the darkness of their soul. There’s a part of you that would love premarital sex, but the voice of your conscience would tell you how wrong it is provided you haven’t seared it with a hot iron.
If you find yourself in this situation what you need to do is to HATE this act. You can’t desist from what you do not detest. Apostle Paul hated the evil he found himself doing, this is why he cried out for deliverance: “Who will deliver me from this body of sin?”
When you hate premarital sex because it is a sin against God, you will do everything possible to stop it. However, if something tells you, “After all, it’s not bad,” “God will forgive you if you do it again,” and you listen, you won’t quit.
To desist from illicit sex should you find yourself having fallen into it, the steps you should take are as follow.
This step is usually difficult for many to take. You can’t overcome a problem you embrace or accept to be your fate. You can’t rise above your mistake if you remain on the floor where it knocked you down.
Withdraw from the relationship; it doesn’t matter if your wedding day is in a few weeks. Stay away from the relationship or person so you can do the right thing you need to do to come out of it.
Some people do not see premarital sex as a sin against God and their bodies. If you stay with this kind of person, you’d be lured back into it.
Mind you, it’s not enough to say, “God, I’m sorry,” that’s a confession, you should also quit the relationship or withdraw yourself from the person.
2. Embrace forgiveness
If falling into premarital sex was consensual, forgive yourself to have allowed such. Forgive yourself, and ask God for forgiveness too. God will forgive you if you ask genuinely, but He doesn’t forgive willful disobedience. He will forgive, but His forgiveness doesn’t erase the consequence of your disobedience.
When the prodigal son squandered all his fortune in the far country, the first step he took was to withdraw from the far country and he sought after his father’s forgiveness. If he had stayed there, his life wouldn’t have fared better.
If falling into premarital sex was a result of your ignorance or mistake, forgive yourself then…
3. Go back to God
One thing you should know when you sin against God is the fact that the devil would do everything in his ability to keep you away from God. This was the same strategy he used when Adam and Eve sinned against God.
Don’t run away from God, I know your sin has made you look filthy and worthless, but He would in no wise cast you away. Go back to God.
Even if you have to back out of the relationship, turn to God and leave the path of evil you just trod. When you go back to Him, you’d find the strength to rise above your sin, but if you don’t, you’ll keep rising and falling into it.
Going back to God might be difficult because the devil would throw shades of guilt and condemnation at you, don’t quit. You might relish the pleasures of sin, but consider what’s at stake if you go back to sin.
Conclusively, that you made a mistake to have had premarital sex doesn’t mean you should continue in it. Withdraw from the relationship. Go back to God, ask for His forgiveness as the prodigal son did. Don’t think an angel would appear telling you your sins have been forgiven, believe God’s word that says, “If we confess our sin, He is able and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Believe that God has forgiven you. God’s mercy forgives, but the devil condemns. When you know this, it would be easy for you to return to God, but if you don’t, the devil will use thoughts of condemnation to keep you knocked down.
So, stay away from that person or relationship that made you fall into premarital sex, going back has regrettable consequences. Don’t be deceived to think it’s nothing. God judges those who dishonor their marriage bed, but His mercy abounds towards those who embrace His forgiveness for repentance.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Click here to read the previous episode