I’m dating a particular lady and I love her but she keeps on getting in touch with her ex, sometimes they meet, most times she took her ex as a priority. What should I do?
Why waste your time, energy, emotions, and resources on a partner who is not ready to leave and cleave to you? The way you find who to marry determines your experience before and in marriage.
A partner who is however, in touch with his or her ex is still attached to such a person. One major principle you should never downplay in marriage is the principle of leaving to cleave.
You can’t force your partner to leave their ex if they do not see reasons why they should not be with them. Why should you be in love with a partner who took her ex as a priority, while you’re a second fiddle? Don’t stay in a relationship where you’d be tolerated, stay with a partner who is ready to forsake all and follow you.
On what to do; there’s no amount of talking or pleading you can do that would make her leave her ex. Love comes softly, it’s not coerced. And love that’s true cleaves, it doesn’t leave; but not with an abuser or a cheat. What do you think you can do to win back her affection when the fire of passion for her ex still burns intensely in her heart?
What I would advise you to do is to quit the relationship and move on. If you don’t have anything serious to do with life, you can loiter around her hoping she’d come back to you. But if you’re serious with your life and emotional health, move on, and trust God to lead you in the right path, where you’d be comforted in the relationship.
The presence of Rebekah in the life of Isaac brought him comfort, not confusion. Anybody you’re in a relationship with who doesn’t give you comfort, rest, and happiness isn’t worth spending the rest of your life with.
This is why I would strongly recommend for those who care to listen, don’t adopt a dating relationship to find who to marry, let God guide you. If He did it in the past, and for me to find my better half, and for those who He helped, He can do it for you if you’re ready to pay the price.
I did not jump from one partner to the other in search of a spouse, I allowed Him to lead and guide me. Although it wasn’t easy, trust me, but it was worth it.
Going from one dating relationship to the other is telling God you can do it all by yourself. But those who trust Him with all their heart, and do not lean on their understanding, but acknowledge Him in all their ways are never disappointed.
Leave her and focus on God for guidance, it’s not worth fighting for. What made her leave her ex to cling to you temporarily would still happen. Don’t let her return and still meet you confused and hopeless. Move on with God so that she can meet you in a better position and relationship.
And on a second thought, if she’s in touch with her ex, it shows she loves him more than you, or perhaps, he treats her better than you do. Why become an option when you can also be a priority?
My brother, move on. Love with your head, and not your heart (emotions). Let God lead you to a woman who would make you her priority, cleave to you, and would celebrate you perpetually, not the one who would tolerate you for a moment.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
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