Good afternoon sir, please can u explain proverbs 18vs22, Thank u. Is it the man that finds or God helps him find?is God really involved in the finding in all cases? How does the man find?? thought he will let God help him??
My sister, this is a great question and your understanding of it would go a long way to help you do the thing to find a partner or your ignorance would make you do the wrong thing.
Many have erroneously interpreted this scripture by using it to suit their carnal desire. You’d be surprised to hear that some preachers have told many to look for who to marry themselves by closing one eye in prayer and using the other to find.
How’s that possible? That’s a distraction. You either focus on God, or you concentrate on what you’re looking for without Him.
Now, let’s see what was written in it.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
From the verse, a man has to find a wife, because a woman can’t find a wife, and a woman is NOT to find a husband. You may not agree but that’s the truth. A woman is to position herself to be found in the place of purpose, not seductively.
Let’s analyze your first question.
Is it the man that finds or God helps him find?
Two things are involved. You can find without allowing God to guide you because you believe you have commonsense or a brain, but I’m sure you know the outcome.
And there are several ways men find a wife. Some find through dating, or by impregnating a woman and then marrying her, or by being matchmaked. Some find by catching a lady when she’s young and nurture her until she’s “ripe” for marriage.
There are several worldly gimmicks to find a wife (spouse) without allowing God to help you. Meanwhile, God helps those who put their trust in Him to find a spouse, not those who help themselves.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV)
“They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed” (Psalm 34:5 KJV)
It is a lie from the pit of hell to believe God doesn’t guide you to find a spouse. He guides those who put their trust in Him. However, trusting in Him doesn’t mean you’d be idle or do nothing while waiting on Him for guidance.
While trusting, be praying, patient, careful, follow His instructions, build capacity, and fulfill your divine assignment.
And to your next question, “Is God involved in the finding in all cases?”
Yes, He is but not in all cases. He only directs the affairs of those who put their trust in Him. For instance, if man A puts his trust in God for a partner and lives in Lagos. Lady B is also trusting God for a partner and she lives in another part of Lagos. God, in His sovereignty and wisdom, deeming it fit that they should partner in marriage to fulfill His purpose would orchestrate an event that would connect them.
God sits in heaven, like a chess Master, and connects His children who put their trust in Him to find who to marry. If you do not trust Him to guide you, and you lean on your common sense, you can’t get His best for your life. Moreover, you’d be responsible for the consequences of your marital choice.
God will not literally help you to find, but He will guide you through the finding process, especially when you do not lean on your understanding (education, exposure, experience) as to finding a spouse.
Is that clear?
How does the man find?
I believe I have answered that. A man finds by either trusting God to guide him, or he leans on his understanding without trusting Him. The fact that you go to church doesn’t mean you trust Him. You trust Him when you wholeheartedly depend on Him for guidance.
For instance, a man trusts in God when he prayerfully seeks His face before he proposes to a lady, and he gets his conviction and confirmation before he does that.
A lady also trusts God to help her as she seeks His face before she accepts a proposal without allowing his physical appearance, personality impression, material possession, financial worth, spiritual charisma, or social status to entice her to say yes.
However, you lean on your understanding when you propose (or accept a proposal) based on mutual chemistry, peer influence, pressure, or perceived compatibility without allowing divine guidance.
So, it’s your choice to either trust God or lean on your understanding. He that finds a spouse (wife) it says, you can trust God or lean on your understanding to find.
Meanwhile, Eve did not find Adam. Rebecca did not find Isaac. It was the men who took the initiative of finding. If a man is shy, he should have friends or a spiritual leader that can speak on his behalf, provided he has done the needful.
All that a woman should do is to position herself to be found through godly character, fulfilling her divine assignment, and to allow God to order her steps to the right man He has prepared for her.
If you find a man yourself or woo him to marry you either by style, or seduction, you’d be the one to do everything that would make the relationship work.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Read the previous episode here.