Please I have a question.
I have a friend that is in courtship with this guy…The relationship is not up to one year. Ever since they started courting, he hasn’t given her anything. Not that she’s in need of his gifts and all that…she’s a working-class lady and she can get the things she needs. But could that be considered a problem?? At least the guy has got the money to an extent and she’s not that type of lady that likes demanding money or things from whoever she’s courting. Just trying to find out if it’s a bad sign, or if the stinginess could pose a problem later in the marriage??
Please it’s not because she’s after his money, she’s just confused and wants to know the problem.
This is an indirect question and it would be biased to answer without knowing the guy’s position on why he’s not giving her money. Meanwhile, I’d treat this question as a general problem that could emanate in any relationship.
If you’re in a relationship where your man or woman is allergic to giving or has a phobia for giving, you need to understand and do the following.
There’s time for everything; a time to give or receive, and there’s a time you should not give or receive. Do not give if it would influence your partner’s decision to accept you, and never receive a gift or cash from someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with.
If you build the foundation of your relationship on gifts or money, you’d require more of it to sustain it. And if you accept cash or kind from someone you don’t want to be in a relationship with, you’d pay dearly for it. Remember, nothing is free in Freetown.
Love should come softly, it should not be induced. However, don’t give when your motive or the timing is wrong, and likewise when it comes to receiving. And I reiterate, don’t receive something from him or her when you don’t have anything to do with them. That’s not being smart, it’s stupidity.
That said, let’s assume you’re both in a serious relationship that would lead to marriage, and your partner hasn’t given you anything, engage him or her in a conversation to know their views on giving. Some may not see being a miser as an issue until you draw their attention to it. Also, give and watch to see if they’d reciprocate.
Mind you, never forget that you can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. If someone claims to love you, but their pockets have been zipped up, or they’re tight-fisted, count the cost before you venture into a lifelong commitment with them.
Stinginess could be a major issue in marriage. If he or she is a chronic miser, they may not see the need to give you anything in marriage even if they have. A person may not have been raised to be generous, but if they’re teachable, then can easily learn when they want to and from the one they love.
And to those who think being stingy is a virtue, it’s wickedness to do so when you receive more from them. However, give your partner things based on your ability, don’t go bankrupt because you want to give. Give what you can afford, and don’t impress. God gave us His only begotten son, He didn’t give up His throne.
It’s unwise to give and become a beggar after giving, that’s stupidity; and it’s not maturity to be stingy, especially to those you love.
One of the outstanding qualities of love is that it gives (either cash or kind), it’s selfless and sacrificial.
Do you have issues with giving in your relationship? How did you solve it? Kindly share in the comment box below.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Kindly read the previous episode here.