Sir, what’s the proper approach in praying to God for a partner: do you first enter into a relationship with the sister, and then pray to God to know His mind, or do you do it before you initiate a relationship?
Thank you for asking this important question. If you’re trusting God for a partner, you need to know how to go about it.
Ideally, in learning how to swim, you don’t jump into the river or swimming pool to learn, you learn swimming by learning. Meanwhile, you can’t know who to marry by going into a dating relationship; that many do that doesn’t make it right.
If you’d trust God to guide you, you need to learn the precepts, and lines must be up on line.
Trusting God for a spouse doesn’t mean you’d sit down whilst expecting the right person to come without doing anything as most people believe. Meanwhile, you don’t trust God by chasing or dating everyone around you; you trust Him by committing your marital life to Him in prayers, then follow His process and timing.
Many would tell you “watch and pray” as an excuse to lean on your understanding, but ideally, you should trust Him, then watch and pray.
If after prayer, God reveals a brother or sister to you, or you see someone you love, don’t rush to initiate a relationship, do your background checks in the place of prayer and patience. God may not be the source of some revelation, this is why you need to exercise patience to verify it.
Some revelations could be a product of manipulation, deception, or confusion which is sponsored by the devil. If the revelation is genuinely from God, you should have peace and you won’t be in haste to rush.
More so, ensure you involve your spiritual leader or a godly and spiritually mature parent or friend who you trust in their spiritual judgment to pray with you on this matter.
Remember, in the mouth of two or more witnesses, every word shall be established. Once you ensure that your conviction and confirmation is certain with all necessary checks done, then you can initiate a relationship.
If you start a relationship without doing the necessary checks, you’d be surprised that your emotions or feelings would speak to you when you pray. Although, some enjoy God’s grace and mercy to a certain degree that without praying, they will know all they need to know about who they are in a relationship with.
However, you may not be privileged to have this grace, but pray before you start the relationship with them. It is not of faith to be in haste because you have a revelation, get all the necessary information from God before you commence.
Many who dabble into a relationship on the basis of the revelation they had without verifying it have also rushed out. You need spiritual intelligence to understand spiritual things. If God is truly involved, nothing would change what He revealed except when one of the partner rebels.
Mind you, that you have a genuine revelation from God doesn’t mean everything would be rosy, or that your partner would be perfect, but you can be assured of His endorsement of the relationship, no matter what happens.
Meanwhile, God won’t lead you to a person who would force you to sin against Him. Involve Him in all things, and don’t get carried away with the ecstasy of finding someone to marry that you’d ignore Him.
It is better for God to be the Alpha and Omega of your relationship than to involve Him after your fingers have been burned or things have fallen apart.
That sister A was revealed to brother B today, or vice versa doesn’t mean proposal or marriage should happen tomorrow; the vision may be for an appointed time.
The process into a godly relationship is to let God lead you before you go into it. Don’t lead yourself into it before you ask for His guidance. It’s better not to scald your tongue because you’re impatient to drink a hot tea, than to look for ways to heal a scalded tongue.
Read previous series here.