What are the signs to know the right person?
HRI: Everybody wants to see signs: to know that she loves me, or to ascertain that he’s the right one for me. And most relationship preachers do not fail to preach signs, only a few teach spiritual principles.
Do you think you can really know the right person through signs? I guess not.
Adam didn’t ask God for signs to know the right woman, he saw her, and with such a degree of conviction and audacity, he said, “This is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh.”
Are you looking for signs to ascertain the right person or you want to use a “fleece” method? Please be guided.
Lady: Sir, is looking for a sign really bad?
HRI: Well, here’s what you should know about it.
- Anybody can fake signs, don’t depend on it.
- It can be manipulated by men or the devil; it’s unsafe.
- You can’t know the right person through signs, you need divine guidance.
- You’d be confused with signs because two people can match what you’re looking for; this is why some fall in love with two people simultaneously.
- You can study people through signs, but it takes revelation to know the right person.
- Using clues to verify the right partner is a way to ignore God in your search.
- Those who seek signs are not confident in God, or in their relationship with Him.
- It is spiritual laziness to look for signs when you can diligently seek God to know the right person.
- The easiest way to mismarry is to ignore God and resolve to clues only.
- Knowing God experientially and having a personal relationship with Him is a sine qua non for finding the right person, not sign seeking.
HRI: Can you please give me 1 Cor. 1:22 in the TPT version?
Lady: Okay, sir. “For the Jews constantly demand to see (miraculous) signs, while those who are not Jews constantly cling to the world’s wisdom.”
HRI: Do you understand that scripture?
Lady: No, sir.
HRI: Jesus is a Jew, and most Jews don’t believe He is the Messiah. They only know Him to be the son of Joseph, the carpenter’s son.
Similarly, most Christians don’t believe in Jesus, but when it comes to choosing who to marry, they adopt signs in their quest.
Meanwhile, those who aren’t Jewish (the Greeks – unbelievers) use worldly wisdom to get things done. As Christians, you don’t need the wisdom of this world to find who to marry, employ the wisdom of God.
Adopting God’s wisdom in choosing who to marry is foolishness when you compare it with the worldly wisdom.
The wisdom of this world would tell you to look for who you like (or love), study him or her, find out the signs you want in a partner, and once you can find it, marry him or her.
It would also tell you to marry who you love, or love who you marry. All these philosophies, or teachings would never help you trust God to guide you, but to lean on your understanding.
HRI: Do you now understand?
Lady: Hmm, very well sir. Now that it is not good for a child of God to seek signs, can you itemize the processes involved in following God’s wisdom in this regard?
HRI: It’s simple, and they are as follows:
1. Be saved
Salvation separates you from the world and draws you closer to Him. To be saved, confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and believe Him in your heart.
Does it end there? No.
2. Be born again
Going to church doesn’t make you born again, only those whose lives are influenced by His word and Spirit are truly born again; and they’re not led by their erection or emotion.
Mind you, born again believers are Bible-practising Christians, they’re not worldly because they do what His word says, and not what their boyfriend or girlfriend wanted.
It would be possible to be born again when you…
3. Cultivate a personal relationship with God
See, knowing God takes time, and if you don’t have a personal relationship with Him, you won’t know Him. You must take it upon yourself to study His word personally, don’t limit it to Sunday sermon.
Beyond congregational prayer or family devotion, you must have your personal prayer time. It is better to be consistent with your 15 minutes daily prayer than to only pray to Him when you have a problem (need).
Don’t wait until it’s time to look for who to marry before you get closer to Him – start now. Remember, the earlier the better.
4. Discover your divine purpose
You can’t know why God created you through assumption. No, you can’t even find it by reading books on purpose that doesn’t take you back to Him. In fact, it’s more than what you’re passionate for, or your desire to solve problems. You have to discover it in the place of persistent prayers.
God created Adam for a purpose, and Eve too was made for a purpose. Discover your divine purpose before you look for who to marry.
And what else after this?
5. Fulfill it
You’d be distracted easily by every Tom, Dick, and Harry when you’re not busy fulfilling God’s purpose for your life.
More so, those with the appearance of the right person would come into your life, but fulfilling His purpose would help you get rid of idleness and single out the right person – not through dating.
6. Trust God to help you
It’s one thing to trust He can help you, and it’s another to believe He can. You can’t trust God without believing in Him. Nevertheless, those who trust God hand over everything to Him, but those who don’t worry themselves with everything.
And while trusting Him…
7. Be patient
Don’t rush to be married when it’s not the right time to do so. Don’t allow pressure – within or without – push you into the wrong relationship, not even your present age. Patience might be unable to redeem you from the wrong relationship impatience pushed you into.
While you’re patiently waiting…
8. Be prayerful
You need prayers to find the right person, or to be found. Pray against marital delay, an evil family pattern that affects married people. Pray to guard your heart against manipulation, lust, crush, inordinate affection, and the likes.
Prayer helps you to know the right person, as He reveals it to you if He chose to, and it keeps the wrong people away. It also aligns you with His will.
Pray; you can’t overdo it; and while praying…
9. Be careful
When everyone is singing, “Go and marry,” be careful. When a guy or lady comes close to you, be prudent. Even if someone tells you, “God told me you’re the one,” please be cautious.
Until He says go, it is a no.
HRI: Are you still following?
Lady: Yes, sir.
10. Understand His timing
If God would guide you to the right person, understand that He has His set time. Since His ways aren’t the same as yours, know that your time doesn’t equate to His.
You’d struggle to get the right person when it isn’t right in His timing, but when His appointed time comes, it is a beautiful experience to meet the right person.
Remember, He makes everything beautiful in its time, not yours.
11. Work while waiting on God
These processes itemized can be summed up as waiting on God. While waiting, work on your mind. Read good books. Be mentally sound.
Work on your career, be the best at it. Don’t hibernate your life while waiting on God on who to marry – maximize your singlehood.
Be financially independent so you won’t be at the mercy of anyone for financial survival.
Lady: Wow! Thank you so much, sir.
You may ignore all the aforementioned steps in your choice of the “right” person, but trust me, you won’t get His best. If you don’t do it His way, you can’t get His blessing.
Worldly wisdom will fail you, don’t adopt it. Don’t seek signs to know the right person, strive to know Him intimately so you can ascertain His will maritally, and in other areas of your life.
Till I come your way next time on this episode, take charge, and abide in Him.