My answer to this could either be a yes or a no.
According to the divine hierarchy, the head of Christ is God, and the head of man is Christ. Meanwhile, the head of the woman is the man. And in marriage, the man is known to be the head of the family.
On the issue of who’s older or younger in marriage, age is a trivial matter in this regard for both the man and the woman. A man ought to be the head of his wife, but to be ahead of her – it’s not by competition, but by capacity – age does not matter.
To some people, age is not just a number, and to those driven by the age factor, age is a big deal. Some ladies cannot submit to someone who’s younger than them while some men can’t see themselves marrying a woman that’s older than them.
In an ideal marriage, a man should be older and ahead of his wife in wisdom, spiritual intelligence, emotional stability, and financial strength. What makes a man the head is never attributed to his age but those things I stated earlier.
On this issue of age, to the woman, age is just a number if she can be submissive to the man even when she’s older than him age-wise, financially, or spiritually. Not all women can do these. It takes a woman who has dealt with Mr. flesh – human nature – not to allow these prevail over her marriage.
For the man, this matter is very dicey because of what we have been told concerning a woman’s biological clock. Some would tell you: “The younger the better” and humanly speaking, they have a point. But if you bring God into the equation, it’s baseless.
Age doesn’t matter if God has brought you two together because I believe God must have worked on both the man and the woman He’s bringing together in holy matrimony. But if you choose whom to marry without Him, age is not just a number – it’s a deal-breaker.
Age matters to a man who believes women age faster than men. This is so because of the stress women go through while raising a home. And this is why married men should support their wives by helping her out with the chores. It’s not a big deal to do the dishes when she cooks the food. It doesn’t reduce your “anointing” as the man.
If you want her to look sweet sixteen, lend her a helping hand by doing the chores. It’s a sheer act of wickedness to slave your wife during the day and you’d expect her to perform excellently in bed at night.
Adam had been preparing his food before she came into his life; his wife was a helpmeet, not just in cooking, but in the matters of fulfilling his divine assignment. There’s nothing wrong with the man helping his wife out in marriage; wives should not just see this as his duty.
More so, age matters to a man who is culturally driven and whose mindset hasn’t been transformed. It is a no-no to be married to men who are culturally biased or whose mindset has been wrapped around the idea that they must be the head age-wise. Most of these men clamor for submission without being ahead of their wives.
Submission is never demanded, it is to be earned. Aside from the fact that God commanded wives to submit to their husbands, it would be very easy to earn your wife’s submission when you marry the right one, and you love her as Christ loved the church.
I stated earlier that what makes a man be ahead of his wife has nothing to do with age, but his emotional maturity, financial strength, and his spiritual advancement. It is wrong for a man to claim headship over his wife when he’s not ahead of her in vital areas where his headship is required.
In Christ, we are new creatures and age is just but a number, but outside Him, age is an issue. Do not pair yourself with a man or woman who is not in Christ, mind you, not all “Christians” are in Christ; some are still controlled by their old nature.
More so, age matters to a proud woman who felt she can only be submissive to a man that’s older than her. Some would say they can’t imagine having a man who’s of their younger’s brother age mate become their husband. These kind of women are myopic and couldn’t see beyond the age issue.
Although, you might cite cases from the Bible where the man is older, but God sits in Heaven and does what pleases Him. Yours is to discern His ways and receive the grace to accept His will for your life. Don’t compare His dealings in your life with others.
In a nutshell, age would be a critical issue if you look for who to marry without God or in your mindset and upbringing, you consider it a taboo.
There are marriages I know where the woman is older than the man and no one knows about it, yet they have a blissful marriage. And I know of some where the man is younger and issue abounds because he wasn’t ahead of her.
Remember, for those who are new creatures in Christ, and whose heart He has touched, age is just a number; but for those who are not in Him, age is a deal-breaker. Above all, let God guide you in your choice of who to marry; never allow pressure or impatience to do so.
Till I come your way next time on another Q&A episode, take charge and stay strong.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.