When the word “fight” comes to the fore, many think it’s all about the physical contest; but the truth is that it’s sometimes not.
If you’d make it in life and marriage, you must strive to attain success. Marital success doesn’t come by prayer and fasting alone, as some religious people would think; neither does it rest on being romantic, as some carnal people might infer.
I hope you know that it takes two to tango, and it takes two to have a successful marriage.
Sadly, many think when it comes to marital success, they have to contend or compete with their spouse. That’s far from the truth. You can’t have a great marriage when you live in disharmony with your partner.
What you need to fight against is not your partner, but the major enemy that seeks to destroy your marriage which I would show you now. In warfare, when you know your enemy, you’ve won half the battle; all you then need is the right strategy.
Consider the scene below.
When a man seeks to lord his headship over his wife, what do you think his problem is? Do you say ignorance? I think not.
When a wife claims that her money belongs to her, and her husband own belongs to them, can you figure out her problem?
The problem of that man and woman in the above illustration has to do with an enemy that’s called SELF. Self is the major enemy of many marriages, and Christian marriages aren’t exempted.
When self takes the throne in a woman’s life, she’d find it practically impossible to submit to her husband, but she can give honor to her boss, or spiritual leader.
So, likewise, self in a man’s heart will make it difficult for him to love his wife, but he can nourish and cherish himself, or someone else – not his wife.
This year, you need to examine your life and fight against self. If you don’t, your experience in marriage won’t differ from yesteryears, and guess what? The problem isn’t your partner, but you.
Self, the human nature, is the reason why a man wouldn’t remove the mote in his eyes but put the whole blame on the beam in his wife’s eyes.
Friend, self is a destroyer. It has destroyed many marriages, and it is still destroying many. When it takes over the throne of your heart as a man or woman, saying sorry wouldn’t be possible. Even if it is for the sake of allowing peace to reign, self would tell you to say no, so you won’t be taken for granted.
Self is a sinker, it has sunk marriages just like the iceberg that sank the Titanic ship with all her pride. Don’t be ignorant of the works of self such as self-centeredness, selfishness, and several others.
If you want your will to prevail every time, self is at work in you. Meanwhile, your victory over self isn’t fasting and prayer, or self-help principles; the only thing that crushes self with all its glory is the Cross, and you have to come to the Man of Calvary – Jesus Christ.
It was self that destroyed the Biblical Ananias and Sapphira that made them lie to the Holy Spirit. It also made King Ahab covet Naboth’s vineyard. Never forget that the strength of all human sin and vices lies in the strength of self. The stronger self becomes in your life, the higher your chances of becoming its victim.
Come to Jesus. Cling to His Cross, and live the crucified life. That’s your perpetual victory over the flesh (self) that would ruin your marriage.
The next marital enemy you must fight is SATAN.
Now get this clear, if your marital challenge is not caused by self, it’s caused by Satan. How do I mean?
In the first marriage, who incited the woman to eat the forbidden fruit? I’m sure Bible students would know this. It’s no other person than the devil – the doer of evil.
Whether you’d agree or not, Satan is still in the business of destroying marriages. Do you remember his agenda in John 10:10? To steal, kill, and destroy. And that’s exactly what he does.
If you believe this, that’s good; and if you don’t, it doesn’t change the fact. In fact, the devil doesn’t want you to believe that he’s your arch-enemy; this is why he came in through the serpent to deceive Eve.
Remember, the truth of the scripture: lest Satan takes an advantage over you, be not ignorant of his devices. And if you are, then you must buy the truth.
How does Satan destroy marriages?
1. When you give him a place through dialogue in your heart.
Not all your thoughts are ordinary, some could be from self, God, or the devil. You have to be discerning. Satan can speak to you using your thoughts, and his words are aimed at destruction.
God will never tell you to cheat on your spouse, but the devil will do that, and with 101 reasons. He can give you suggestions, opinions, or a piece of advice. He can speak through people around you, especially those you respect. He will give you an example, or drop an idea in your mind that would destroy your marriage.
Don’t be ignorant of his devices.
2. Through temptation
It is never a sin to be tempted, but it becomes sinful when you fall into it. Jesus was tempted, yet without sin. Temptation will come from anywhere because we live in a world that’s a haven of temptation – the lust of the flesh, the eye, and the pride of life.
3. Through lack of discernment
When Satan couldn’t succeed with his temptation over Jesus, he came through another means – through Peter. He tried to discourage Jesus from fulfilling His mission, but He rebuked him firmly: Get thee behind me.
How discerning are you in marriage to know when he wears a mask with your spouse’s face to attack you? Will you fight your spouse, or discern the enemy behind their action or inaction?
However, you can only overcome Satan in your marriage when you…
- Know the truth
- Be grounded in the knowledge of the scripture.
- Resist him, don’t entertain a dialogue with him
Can you see that your fight for your marriage is not against your spouse, but against those forces – self and Satan – that seeks to destroy bliss in your union.
Blessed are you when you know and do these things.
Happy New Year 2021