She was barely 25, but she had dated several brothers in church and in the university, yet, she goes to church but her relationship with Him isn’t intimate. Now, she’s in another relationship with the hope that she would be married to him.
Sister ABC wouldn’t have met her waterloo had it been that she didn’t opt into a relationship with the aim of finding the right man. But now, she has lost her virginity and had suffered a series of heartbreaks. To make it worse, no one knew about this as she put up a godly appearance.
It is one thing to be a Christian and it’s another thing to be a churchgoer. Godly sisters are not churchgoers or nominal Christians, they have a personal relationship with God, but are naive about dating. Many godly sisters have been hoodwinked to believe there is nothing bad in dating as believers.
Can I tell you this: you don’t need to date several men before you know the right man. You don’t even need a relationship to know how men behave.
In the process of moving from Bro. John to Johnson in a dating relationship, many sisters became victims of relationship issues such as emotional trauma, heartbreak, negative experience about men, loss of virginity, premarital sex, masturbation, pornography, and several others.
Dating is a relationship that would never help you find the right man, and you’d never trust God while you date several men. It is a lie from the pit of hell to think there’s something called Christian dating.
That the word “Christian” is added to any worldly philosophy does not make it godly. Godliness is your devotion to be faithful to God.
Dear Christian lady, dating will make you lean onto your understanding without putting your trust in Him. You can have friends with the opposite sex, it doesn’t make you a sinner. But know where to draw the line between friendship and a committed relationship.
Why should you allow your feelings concerning a particular brother to make you fall head over heels in love with him when you have not done the needful? Why should a brother be so close to you than others when God hasn’t told you to proceed with him?
I know age isn’t on your side, but this is not an excuse to go into a relationship with the opposite sex with a mind of seeing if the relationship will work.
You have no business being close to the opposite sex if you are not in a relationship leading to marriage. And before you yoke yourself to a brother, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is he a man I can submit my all to as unto the Lord?
You will have more problems in marriage when you marry a man whose head isn’t Christ, but his pride, ego, education, experience, or status.
2. Does he know where he’s going and he can lead me there, not the one that would lead me on?
Lots of brothers look promising because of their physical appearance, personality impression, material possession, financial worth, social relevance, or spiritual charisma; but they don’t know where they’re going.
It is better to marry a man who has a vision and he’s driven by it than to marry a man who has the latest television.
3. How sound is he spiritually?
A man can be sound in other aspects of life but a man who is not sound spiritual is vulnerable to the issues of life. Do not forget that his involvement in spiritual activities doesn’t equate his spirituality.
4. What has (God) Baba said concerning my relationship with Him whether by Urim or Thummin (personal revelation or through His word?)
It is better God spoke than to allow the voice of passion and the murmurs of self will speak to you.
5. How sound is my spiritual life?
Never make the decision on who to marry during the prayerless or carnal season of your life, lest you make costly mistakes.
6. Am I making this decision because I’m worried about being alone due to internal or external pressure, or it is still good that I am alone?
Don’t allow age or any form of desperation to push you into a dating relationship. Another name for a dating relationship is the try-and-see relationship. Your life is too precious and fragile than to plunge it into a trial and error kind of relationship.
Save yourself the heartbreak. Save yourself from hymen break. Don’t be a victim of what you should have avoided because of your ignorance. Exempt yourself from those things other ungodly ladies experience about men in a relationship.
God is a rewarder. He only rewards those who seek Him diligently, not those who have many options for seeking Him. You can’t seek God and have the time to date brothers in or out of the church.
I hope you know that ladies are always at the receiving and losing end? And mind you, lots of Christian ladies aren’t exempted either. Use the time, resources, and energies you would invest in a dating relationship to develop your spiritual, emotional, and financial life.
Some of you may not be married at 25 or in your late twenties; don’t short circuit your life and sabotage your destiny by going into a dating relationship. It is better to get it late and get the best than to rush into a relationship too early and mess up your life.
Let the truth of God’s word you had known, or you now know set you free; and don’t allow your emotion, situation, frustration, or desperation put you into bondage for dating several brothers.
To your relationship success,
Oluwamayowa
