It is easy to say men cheats and call them all the names you can think of, especially when they’re of the Christian faith. But how many of you can or have walked in their shoes? While I do not exonerate cheating or find grounds to justify it, it’s better to address this matter of concern.
Do you know that some Christian wives can deliberately, but ignorantly push their husbands to the pit of adultery? Or better still, let me sound more scriptural, how would you cope when your wife defraud you of your conjugal right in marriage when there’s no issue of prayer and fasting?
There have been cases of Christian wives who were more Catholic than the Pope, that is, they’re more spiritual than sexual. I hope you know what that means? Every time they’re always on lengthy days of fasting and prayer, or perhaps, they’ve become too religious to cater for their marriages.
Many of such women feel they’re busy and burning for God, but they’re guilty of a lack of submission to their husbands. A wise woman ought to build her home, and part of home building is to take care of her husband and meet his sexual needs.
I hope you know that it’s more difficult to stay celibate in marriage than when you’re single. Sexually pure singles can’t know what it is to be physically intimate, they can only imagine or fantasize about it. But a man who has relished the pleasure of sexual intimacy would need to be more disciplined to stay chaste when he’s deprived.
Now, for Christians who are more Catholic than the Pope, the hierarchy of your priority ought to be your walk with God, your marriage and ministry, or church commitments. Do not place your church responsibility above your marriage.
Many have given the devil a place in their marriages because they thought they’re pulling down the walls of Jericho for the Lord, but their action is like the little foxes that destroy the vine.
If you’re a man in this kind of situation, chances are high that you’d drift towards the opposite sex that gives you attention. While there’s no excuse for adultery, you need to hit the reset button before it gets too late.
If you’ve tried talking to your wife about it but it didn’t work out, or perhaps, counseling has failed, what should you do?
1. Talk to a trusted spiritual friend
Sin thrives in secrecy, and for the fear of shame or exposing our weaknesses, we men often cover up. But you’d recall the golden truth from the scripture, he that covers his sin shall not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes them shall obtain mercy.
Tell a trusted friend you can confide in about this matter. At times, a trusted friend can be better than a pastor who might use your matter as an illustration on the pulpit with graphic details.
Speak to a trusted friend because a problem shared is half-solved. A trusted friend can help unburden your mind than for you to bear the weight alone. A trusted spiritual friend can also help you in prayer.
2. Pray with a friend you can confide in
I’m sure in this kind of state personal prayers might be ineffective. It would be difficult for an overwhelmed soul to pray, but if you can agree with a friend on this matter, I believe your agreement in prayers would yield much.
If you can get a trusted friend to pray and agree on this matter, there would be light at the end of the tunnel.
Prayer doesn’t work as a smart door, it would first change you before it changes your situation. Keep praying, you’d surely reap it if you faint not.
3. Count the cost
Imagine how bad it would be if you scorn the points up there, It would be a terrible thing to hear that you mess up with a sister in church or at work. You might think no one would know, but there’s nothing hidden that wouldn’t be revealed.
Count the cost on your integrity, your relationship with your spouse, and the effect it would have on you personally. Do you know that it’s difficult to heal from sexual sin as a believer? You know why?
The devil would guilt trip you with the scriptures you know. He’s going to hunt you with those truths you have preached before about infidelity. It’s not as easy as you think, just count the cost.
4. Withdraw from the relationship
If God would help a man, He brings some people into his life, and I’m sure you know the devil uses the same approach.
The more you stay or nurture that relationship, the likelihood of falling into sexual immorality. There are some relationships you keep that the devil could sow the thoughts of immorality into your heart.
Don’t allow that relationship to gravitate into such. Stay out of it, it’s for your good.
5. Pray for your spouse
While this would be a great idea, it’s usually difficult to do. Who amongst you and I can easily pray for our enemies except God has touched our hearts? Meanwhile, it’s scriptural to pray for those who offend you.
If talking about it may not get the job done, praying for your spouse would be helpful. Prayer can make them have a change of heart to see how hurting they might have made you go through.
Prayer is the best way to handle this situation if everything else has failed. I’m sure you know that as believers, prayer is our surest way to cast our cares on God, and He will sustain it especially when it’s in accordance with His will.
As a Christian husband reading this, I know how hurting it is to be in this kind of situation; don’t throw in the towel, do not despair, there’s hope in what seems like a hopeless situation if you don’t give up.
Don’t be weary in well-doing (by not giving in to adultery), adopt these methods and you’d surely win.
I love you, and I care.