Believe me, it’s not a crime to be social, what many tags as being sociable is most likely worldliness or carnality. You can be godly and still be social.
Many believers have been made to believe that those who are social are ungodly and that it’s sinful to be social. But how would you win friends and influence people for God if you’re unfriendly?
Well, what does it mean to be social?
It means having the ability to relate well with people – friends, strangers, or associates in a neutral and platonic way regardless of their gender, class, or status respectfully.
You need to understand that being social doesn’t make you carnal or ungodly, it all depends on your understanding of it. Sadly, most young Christians, both male and female are not socially inclined to adapt to the outside world. This is why when most of them leave the confines of their parents or spiritual leaders, they go wayward.
Jesus was able to relate well with sinners, lawyers, Pharisees, Sadducees, Republicans, tax collectors, and all manner of people there is in His time, yet they never influenced Him to be ungodly or worldly.
How did He do it?
He was 100% God and human, yet He maintained a perfect balance between humanity and divinity. As individuals, you need to learn from Him so you can relate well with others, onsite, or online.
Be a balanced Christian, both spiritually and socially, and in other areas of your life.
Tips to be social
1. Know how to relate
It is not a crime to have friends of the opposite sex, it’s uncivil to allow your emotions to override your sense of reasoning.
Relate freely, but with no strings attached. Don’t read meanings to what should be taken with a pinch of salt. Ladies, until a man proposes, never conclude or assume that you’re in a relationship.
And while you choose who you relate with, ensure your relationship is purely platonic. Relate as casual friends, not as lovers, then let respect be your tagline.
You can do things with your friend of the same sex which you must never do with your friend of the opposite sex. How you associate with a bosom friend is different from how you’d relate with someone you just met.
Hugging the opposite sex might send wrong signals which could spark up emotions or inordinate affection. A simple handshake hurts no one.
2. Be a good conversationalist
It is one thing to know how to hold a conversation, it’s another thing to be talkative or a tale-bearer. Holding a conversation is knowing about the topic or issue of discourse, sharing your views, making intelligent contributions, and asking questions for clarity or knowledge.
Many don’t know how to do this and it affects their social life. A good conversationalist does not dominate the conversation but speaks wisely and sensibly. They know when to talk or halt.
It’s all about balance.
More so, discuss issues based on their area of interest as you converse, however, stay away from sensitive issues. Meanwhile, this would be impossible if you don’t…
3. Know a little about everything
You’d be unsocial when you don’t know how to talk to others based on their area of interest. Moreover, you must know what to say, and how to say it.
When the conversation tends towards politics, sports, or current trends, have something to say, even if it is not much. You don’t have to be a soccer fan or belong to a club to know about soccer. It would be bad if all you knew is your career or religion; know little about other aspects of life.
Read books. Watch videos. Read online news. Know current trends and happenings.
4. Be free
Many have allowed their religious belief to hedge them in. They’ve considered some things forbidden because they’re not adequately enlightened about them.
Don’t get me wrong, being free doesn’t mean you should be carefree or let loose; it only implies that you shouldn’t allow ignorance to put you in bondage.
Moreover, do not allow your liberty to become a means for ungodliness, avoid anything that would destroy your life, values, and faith (Gal. 5:1).
5. Be friendly
Some have been made to believe that their next neighbor is their enemy. They are ostensibly hostile to others, while they believe they are more saintly. Jesus never had this kind of outlook in life.
He was a friend to sinners but did not partake in their sins. He was kind, but firm; tender, but disciplined. Do you think people would trail him if He wasn’t friendly? Learn from Him.
6. Know when to draw the line
Know where and when to set boundaries in your relationship. Being social doesn’t mean you should be gullible or become an ignoramus.
Know when to draw the lines when the conversation is becoming or tending towards profanity, or erotic. Don’t think you can control it because evil communication (association) corrupts good manners.
It is out of place to send your nude to anyone, whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s an indecent act. Set boundaries as soon as you notice that you’re becoming emotional or too fond of the other person so you don’t lose your sanity.
To single ladies, remember that until a person proposes, don’t assume or conclude. And if they do, do the needful – be careful, wise, patient, and prayerful. Don’t be desperate.
Desperation leads to destruction, especially when you seek to be intimate with the opposite sex by all means.
7. Relate but don’t be intimate
Being sociable isn’t a license to reveal your private life, or body to someone you barely knew, or you’re not married to. Avoid confidential questions or answers that seek to manipulate your emotions.
Jesus never revealed the secrets and mysteries of the kingdom to those who seek miracles, He only had an intimate relationship with His disciples. And amongst His disciples, He was closer to three and was very close to the one who rested on His bosom.
It is not a crime to choose who you relate with, but wisdom demands that you be careful with whom you get intimate. Until a person is tested and trusted, it’s unwise to be “naked” with them.
Remember one of the scriptural golden truths: “Cast not your pearls before swine, lest they rend it.” This is also applicable in all inter or intrapersonal relationships.
8. Learn how to smile
As a Spirit that He is, God laughs. Don’t be too hard on your facial muscles, it makes you age faster. Wear a good smile, it makes you attractive, and approachable. It’s even part of social etiquette.
Don’t frown your face as if you’re carrying everyone’s problem. Let out the pain, anger, or bitterness; they hinder you from smiling. Don’t always wear your hearts on your sleeves.
Although you might be going through tough times, don’t worry about it, but learn how to make yourself happy and social in a godly way. Being social in a godly way is an art, learn it; and as an act, practice those things I mentioned earlier.
You don’t have to be flashy or trendy to be social, just learn and master the basics. Remember, people may forget your name or look, but they’d never forget how you treat or made them feel.
