This shall be the concluding part to The FPL Approach to Marriage That Makes it Enjoyable
When the word “lovers” comes to the minds of an average person, it is used to describe two persons who are in love and they act as lovebirds with their PDAs. More so, the likes of kissing, hugging, cuddling and several others have been used to define two persons in love; but that’s not always true.
Someone said that marriage is sweet, but it all depends on the cutlery you use. And that’s not far from the truth if you ponder on it.
Marriage should be enjoyed and not to be endured when you know what to do to make it blissful. Many have said terrible things concerning the institution of marriage that many singles are now afraid to venture into it. But I bring you good news: there’s an approach to marriage that makes it enjoyable when you know the truth.
Two weeks ago, we saw the friendship and partnership approach that makes marriage blissful. If friendship is the core of every successful marriage, therefore, the partnership approach to marriage makes it less monotonous.
It is when you partner with your spouse to pursue an earthly and eternal cause that you can look beyond the negatives that are often said about marriage.
Today, we shall see the last part of the FPL acronym. L represents LOVERS.
Lovers are two persons in love with each other, and most marriages start on the premise of love, but they could not continue with that approach to sustain their union.
Why is this so?
The wrong type of love was adopted and expressed.
Unfortunately, many singles begin their relationship on lust and once its flame is out, something else would manifest. More so, the most interesting part of many marriages is the courtship and honeymoon moment, but afterward, the opposite of love would surface.
How can couples approach marriage as lovers to sustain it?
Remember, it is one thing to be married and it’s entirely another thing to stay married. Staying married is more demanding than getting married because many are not emotionally, mentally, and spiritually prepared for the married life, they only prepare for the wedding.
Picture the scenario of four lovers.
Lovers A are only in love with each other when it’s time for physical intimacy, aside from that they live together as strangers. Lovers B express love because they share the same roof as husband and wife but their union is devoid of oneness. Lovers C only demonstrates love when they’re in the public, but it’s hell within. But lovers D prove their love unconditionally, selflessly, and sacrificially in and out of season as they team up to be one.
Of these four lovers, who amongst them would enjoy their marriage the most? And I’m sure you could relate a few marriages around you to the above scenarios.
Lovers who only bond with each other because of sex will be out of sync when physical intimacy is out of place.
For you to enjoy your marriage as lovers, understand and demonstrate true love. This love comes from above because it is a personality and the character of a person – God.
Meanwhile, the kind of love that sustains marriage which would make lovers enjoy their marriage was well described in the Holy Writ.
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned” (Song of Songs 8:6-7 NLT)
There’s a dimension of love that’s as strong as death, and it’s this kind of life that many waters cannot quench. What kind of love is this? Does it exist amongst mortals?
Beyond sex, lovers should set each other as seals upon their hearts. If you do not place your lover as a seal upon your heart, someone or something else would take their place in your heart.
This is why we’re commanded to love God with all our heart before other things were listed – soul, strength, and mind.
Check your heart, has your lover been impressed upon your heart like a seal, or someone around now occupies a place there, maybe your ex or a new friend? Watch it. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. Guard your heart with all diligence so that the issues of life that drown marriages won’t affect yours.
It is only true (God’s) love that can’t be put off by the waters of lust, seduction, or adultery. The likes of Phileo, Eros, or Storge love can be stifled; never can Agape love be.
Do you have the Agape kind of love in you? Do you express it to your spouse?
In the words of Brela Deloussaye, “When couples love God first, they love each other better.” Do you love God as an individual? If you don’t, it would be difficult to love your spouse the way you ought to.
It is the way you express love to God that would tell in the way you prove it to your spouse. If you love God that you do not see, why then do you not walk in love towards your spouse you can see? If you love Him so much and it doesn’t reflect in the way you treat your spouse, you’re most likely a hypocrite.
Remember, love is not in word or tongue, but indeed and in truth.
Many agree that the institution of marriage was ordained by God, meanwhile, they do not know that to get the best of it, they need to integrate His love into their union as they also seek His wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to build their home.
If you don’t love your spouse with the love of God, your approach to marriage as a lover without His love will be sentimental. It takes obedience to love. It’ll cost you commitment to stay faithful to the one you love, meanwhile, you must sustain the fire of love in your relationship otherwise someone else would provide warmth for your spouse.
Dearly beloved, who is the lover of your soul? I know your spouse should be set as a seal upon your heart, but do you love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind? Do you love Him for things or nothing can separate you from His love?
The proof that you love God is not in the bogus offering or sizes of your tithe envelope. Hears what He said, “He that has My commandment and keeps them, He is it that loves Me…” (John 14:21).
Only those whose heart has been directed to the love of God can love Him. Then they can love their spouses the way they ought to according to what His word instructs, and not by following the opinions or philosophy of the world.