Do you know that the second most powerful aspect of a man’s life after his mind is his emotion? It can either make or mar your life as singles.
Another name for the emotion is called the feelings. All that a single lady would become in terms of her relationship wellbeing is largely dependent on her emotions. If you do not learn how to master your emotional life, you will only discover that you’re controlled by it, or you’d be vulnerable to people and situations that would manipulate it.
More so, a young man that would escape the trap of strange women must make sure that he is not tied to his emotions. It is a weak emotional life that would make a man date several women, and break their hearts afterward.
When issues befall singles in their love relationship with the opposite sex, the major cause of this is their emotional life. Issues like peer pressure, covetousness, discontentment, premarital sex, infatuation, lust, heartbreak, inordinate affection, and so on are caused by the weakness of the emotional life.
Understand this, you’re first a spirit and soul, who then lives inside the body. It is through your soul that your spirit interacts with the spirit world, and through your soul, you interact with the cosmos.
The soul is divided into three: the will, the mind, and the emotion. It is your emotion that houses that part of you that feels or reacts to issues, whether positive or negative.
Your emotions can either be negative or positive. Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, lust, jealousy, envy, and several others have destroyed the lives of many singles before marriage.
Many are dominated by negative emotions and they have never tasted what it means to entertain positive emotions. Singles who do not control their emotional life would be slaves to it.
If the devil will defeat you, he does that through the thoughts of discouragement, lust, and resentment which influence your emotions.
Meanwhile, your emotional life cannot act independently without your mind. It is what you program or process in your mind that determines what your emotion reacts to.
For instance, a lady who has several men that seek her hand in marriage or a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can easily fall for the wrong man. If she decides to rate those men that come her way based on their physical appearance, her tribal prejudice, personality impression, material possession, spiritual charisma, and societal influence, she might end up with the man that tickles her fancy which may end up becoming a pain in her neck.
In another instance, if a man allows his erection to determine his relationship with the ladies, he would find himself falling into the net of premarital sex before marriage.
Also, bear this in mind, your emotions can influence you to act against your will if you do not learn how to master it. You are created to exercise dominion over everything that puts people in bondage. Meanwhile, a person who has no control over his or her emotion will be vulnerable to external influence.
How to master your emotional life
1. Master self-control
Those who have no rule over their spirit (soul) are like a city that is broken down without walls (Prov. 25:28, emp. added).
Self-control is the ability to resist the urge to do what one has determined not to do. Some people naturally can say NO but many lack the willpower to do so.
To master self-control,
- Understand the consequences of lack of control
- Be in control of your emotions
- Avoid emotional manipulators
2. Walk in the order of your priorities
A life that has no priority will be confused. Many singles focus so much on relationships when they have not built enough emotional stamina to resist or cope with the demands of a love relationship.
What are your priorities in life?
You should not be in a love relationship when your career, financial, spiritual, or mental life is not in order. You may scorn this truth, but you cannot avoid the consequences if you do so.
When you focus on those things that matter to your life and destiny, you will build emotional muscles to face some situations in life, but when you ignore your life priorities and focus on relationships, it’ll be difficult for you to cope in such a relationship.
You have no business being in a relationship with the aim of marriage when marriage is not your major priority in a year or two; and if it is, do so patiently, carefully, and prayerfully.
3. Walk in the Spirit
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 KJV)
Another sure way to master your emotions is to walk in the Spirit. There are many things the human flesh lust after that only a walk in the Spirit would curtail it. It is good to have self-control but it’s more important to walk in the Spirit.
A walk in the Spirit – a walk of victory – is a life that is controlled by the Holy Spirit. God’s Spirit won’t lead you to defile the marriage bed or disobey God. It is simple to walk in the Spirit when you have developed your spirit man.
A clear indication of walking in the Spirit is obedience to God’s word. As simple as it may seem, a natural or carnal mind cannot obey God’s word; only those who exercise themselves to godliness can live godly lives.
It is easy to walk in the Spirit when you yield your life to obey Him. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death or obedience unto righteousness? (Romans 6:16 KJV)
4. Die to your flesh
Does it sound like a vague term? Many who are not dead to their flesh end up doing those things they wished they had never done.
The flesh is that part of you that doesn’t want to do what is right. It is the nature we inherit from Adam and it influences our emotions.
However, the only way to curb the works of the flesh is through death – the death of the Cross. It is the cross that terminates everything that is not of Christ in your life. Things like cheating, double-dating, and other relationship vices can be evacuated from your life when through the Cross you live a crucified life.
And never forget that if you’re not dead to your flesh, it’s impossible to walk in the Spirit, because it is through the energy of the Spirit in you that you can live above your emotional influence, especially the negative ones.
5. Guard your thought with all diligence
There’s nothing wrong with having feelings that tend to the flesh, they are subtle temptations the devil hurls at us. But yielding to the control of those feelings makes it sinful.
To guard your feelings is to be sensitive to the thoughts you process or focus your mind on. Watch what you fix your gaze on, screen your thoughts, and be careful of what you hear; they have a way of influencing your feelings – either to act or react.
Two ways to guard your feelings is to prayerfully do so, and then heed the words of the great Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:8,
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8 KJV)
If it is not true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report, do not think about it because it would affect your emotional well being. Your thoughts, to a large extent, would influence your emotional life, hence, guard it with all diligence.
It is worth noting that your single life is the best time to work on your emotional life before marriage. Marriage comes with its challenge, and if you’re not emotionally sound and stable, you’d have issues with your spouse in marriage which is not their problem but the emotional baggage you brought in.
Are you in control of your emotional life, or you’re a slave to it? Do something about it.