The rate at which marriage has been bastardized in our modern-day is a major concern. The way some celebrities, men of God, and people around us handle the institution of marriage is enough to inflict fear in the heart of unmarried singles.
If marriage was a divine institution that was created by God for the good of mankind, why is it that in recent times, marriage has been projected in a bad way? Why is divorce, spousal abuse, infidelity, polygamy, and the likes the order of most marriages? Is marriage something to enjoy or endure?
Based on the experiences of people, the fear of getting married is real, but there’s a solution to this. However, according to an online community, many singles are afraid of getting married for the following reasons.
- Overweight spouse
- Falling out of love
- Spousal death
- Having a cheating spouse
- Married to an abusive partner
- Mental incompatibility
- Marrying the wrong spouse
- Divorce, amongst other things.
As valid as some of these concerns are, if you do not overcome them, you’d find yourself in it. And like Job in the Bible, you’d say, the things which I feared have come to me.
Gamophobia is what it’s called – the fear of getting married or being committed in marriage. It is normal to have it in our modern society where the purpose of marriage has been abused and its sacredness has been desecrated. But you can overcome your fears if you address them rightly.
For instance, if your fear of getting married is divorce, research about the causes of divorce and how to divorce-proof your marriage. It takes two people to get married, but one or two persons can initiate a divorce.
More so, ensure that you’re married to a partner who loathes divorce, then work on yourself, your partner, and your relationship to ensure that you’re not toeing the path of divorce. It’s that simple.
Meanwhile, your marital fears could just be an imaginative response to the societal uproar about marriage. It may also be influenced by the marital experiences of people around you. To overcome your marital fears, you must identify the cause. Once the cause has been identified, then deal with it thoroughly.
Divorce could be caused by third-party influence, money issues, sex, or irreconcilable differences, whichever way, address it. If your fears about marriage are induced by your upbringing, ensure you avoid what must have caused your negative experience, taking a cue from your parent’s marriage.
Assuming your dad or mom was the odd one, ensure you do not behave like them, or get married to someone like them.
Marital fears are not real, you only strengthen them by constantly thinking about them. Your life is proportional to your thoughts because it is what you think about that you attract and become.
However, one sure way to deal with your marital fear is to involve God. Why marriages are what it is today is because the basic principles or ingredients of the fear of God which our parents who had successful marriage adopted in their days are missing in ours.
Many don’t give a dime about the fear of God, hence, they treat their spouse or marriage anyhow. Anything you do in life minus the fear of God is evil, and wickedness. But if you allow the fear of God to influence everything you do in marriage, none of those fears would become real in your life.
Involve God in your search for a partner, never think you know it all. The best of your knowledge can’t match up with one-tenth of God’s wisdom. Trust Him with all your heart, because He’s still in the business of guiding those who put their trust in Him.
Don’t subscribe to worldly practice to look for who to marry. Let Him guide you. If you’re the right person and you marry the right person, 60% of your marital fears or problems have been solved. But if you lean your understanding, chances are high that your marital fears would catch up with you.