Until you accept the fact that you can’t find the right person to marry based on your understanding and because of your human limitations, you won’t seek His face for guidance.
The saying is true that if you marry the right spouse and you become the right spouse, it is 70% guaranteed that you’d have a successful marriage. Unfortunately, the first problem of most marriages is that of marital mismatch, then wrong understanding and application of principles, and the involvement of the wrong people.
When the wrong person marries the right person, such a combination will lead to a marriage of endurance. And when the wrong person marries the wrong person, that kind of union is heading for the rocks, it won’t work. But when the right person marries the right person, that’s a perfect combo, and it would surely be a great union come rain and shine.
What makes a person wrong isn’t because of their appearance, personality, financial or social status, charisma, or possession; but that you’re both incompatible destiny-wise and their heart isn’t right with you.
Hear this, a right person doesn’t equate to a perfect spouse and there are many things to know about who a right person is. A perfect spouse is only a figment of your imagination. A right spouse is one whom you’d both make a good match destiny and purpose wise. A doctor marrying a doctor doesn’t mean a good match, it’s beyond career or profession, it’s a matter of suitability, agreement, and completing each other destiny-wise.
How to find the right person to marry is the greatest concern of most unmarried singles, but there’s a way out.
You can find whoever you want to marry, but it’s certain that you can’t get the right person unless you involve the Right Person to help you out. Can a sailor navigate the sea to his destination by studying the tides without a map and compass? Never!
Unfortunately, my Christian brethren or churchgoers have erroneously believed that he that finds a wife (spouse) shows that you don’t need God in your quest. But the point is that it takes wisdom and humility to beckon on God to guide you without depending on your understanding.
I know you are educated, experienced, and exposed, but all these puts together are ineffective if you depend on them without God. If God is truly your Father, why consider it a great deal to depend on Him to find the right person to marry?
To find the right person to marry, involve the Right Person, and here’s how.
1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart
This means that you depend on Him, you believe in Him that He’s able to guide you through the process of finding. But if you doubt it, you won’t do so wholeheartedly.
You don’t trust God by dating Rebecca or Reynolds, and at the same time, you’re praying to God. It is a lack of trust in God to have a crush or idolize your preference while depending on God.
Trusting in God is not a passive activity, it’s active in the sense that you’re talking to Him about the issue and you listen to what He says to you about it. God promised to instruct and teach you in the way you should go about it if you involve Him (Ps. 32:5). Are you doing that?
To trust God implies that you look up to Him with the eyes of faith. You do not depend on matchmaking, online dating, and what have you to find a spouse. As good as men of God are, don’t idolize them, let your focus be God.
You can’t trust in the Lord if you don’t have a relationship with Him; going to church doesn’t mean you have a relationship with Him. Aside from knowing God religiously, those who know Him do so intimately.
More so, you can’t trust God for a spouse if you have not trusted Him in little or insignificant areas and decisions in your life. If you’ve not trusted God to heal your headache or help you get a job, it would be difficult to trust Him for a spouse.
If you trust God for a spouse, then you must hear what He’s saying to you about it. God’s word asserts that you will hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it, when you turn to your right or left.” When last did you hear God concerning your marital life?
Everyone may not have the opportunity to see dreams or vision, but you have to hear Him, however, you can only hear Him if you’re one of His sheep. If you have issues with hearing God, go back and settle the matter before asking Him for a spouse. He may not show you a revelation, but He will surely speak in a still small voice. Can you hear Him? God makes the ears that hear (Prov. 20:12).
To trust God to find the right spouse is to be patient and trust His timing. God makes all things beautiful in its time, not your time. Why do you run with other people’s time and you claim to trust Him?
Do you trust Him with all your heart or do you have a plan B if waiting on Him doesn’t work out on time? Remember, you can find who to marry either God’s way or the world’s way? I’d advise you to wait on Him. Focus on Him, not on your problem.
2. Lean not on your understanding
Many do that by taking several names to MOGs, dating, going into a relationship without seeking His face, cohabitating, pregnancy-led marriage among others.
God will back out once He realized that you’re scheming out things your way without depending on Him. That your understanding gets you a spouse doesn’t mean that He’s involved. God only endorse a relationship where He’s the Alpha and the Omega.
3. Acknowledge Him in all your ways
- When someone proposes to you, seek His face before you say yes, or no.
- When you’re about to propose, be sure you have His conviction and confirmation.
- When you’re under pressure to be married, don’t rush, seek Him.
- When you admire that brother or sister, take the matter to God in prayer before you catch feelings or speak out as the case may be.
- When they introduce a brother or sister to you for marriage, involve Him before you give your consent.
- When people are asking you when you’d be married, rather than being weighed down by this, remember His promises (what He told you) concerning your marital life.
If you do all these 3 points, it’s sure that He will direct your path to where the right person is. The right person may not be in your church, state, tribe, country, or location, but when God’s involved, it’s a little thing because He knows how to orchestrate events in your favor that would bring you together.
Have you involved the Right Person or you’re doing it all by yourself? If no, it’s dangerous to do so; involve Him now, and you’d NEVER regret you did. I tell you!
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