The coming together of a man and his wife in an institution that is called marriage is supposed to be a blessing – he that finds a spouse finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord; because God designed it that way.
Unfortunately, to some, marriage is a blessing, while to some, it’s a bad thing they ever regretted doing in life. Why did some get it right and others failed woefully in it?
This calls for a sober reflection.
And please, hear this: For as long as the concept and the purpose of marriage are misunderstood, it would forever remain a bastardized institution that many would always fail in it.
Marital problems are not caused by marriage itself, by the active players in it. The last time I wrote about marriage in this series, I mentioned that marriage isn’t a bad institution, but your marital foundation matters.
The foundation of your marriage has to do with how you met, what brought you together, what binds you together, and the life of the person you’re married to.
Let’s assume a scenario where meeting your partner was divinely orchestrated and there was mutual conviction and confirmation; purpose brought you together, and likewise, what binds you two together is the fear of God, and God is involved. This looks like a perfect arrangement, right?
But do you know that the life of the person you’re married to (or getting married to) can either make or mar your marriage if they do not work on themselves to be the right person?
Hear this, there are no perfect spouses; what you call “perfect” couples or marriage is the combination of two people who regardless of their imperfections found a way to blend and compromise with each other until you see a perfect blend.
If you’re a single reading this, I call you blessed. Do you know why? You can still work on yourself to become the right person. Why many marriages fail or crash is that many prepare so much to get married, but they lack what it takes to stay married.
See, the major problems people have in marriage aside from third-party issue is caused by the people in it. Sex or money shouldn’t tear a marriage apart if you know how to handle it without issues.
Who are you married (getting married) to?
An angel can’t be married to a demon and you’d expect them to have a successful marriage. Two wrong people can’t be married to each other, and they won’t have major issues in marriage.
What kind of person are you becoming? In Genesis chapter two, marriage was a beautiful institution, but in chapter three, a blame party was thrown. The life of the person you want to marry is important. And by life, I do not mean their physical appearance, financial worth, social status, spirituality, material possession, or charisma.
Whether they’re tall, dark, rich, and handsome; or beautiful, endowed, and sexy has nothing to do; what you’re married to is not the container, but their content – mindset, shortcomings, character, habit, and lifestyle.
Before you consider the mote in your partner’s life, consider the beam in your eyes (Matt. 7:3-5). Is your mindset, character, habit, and lifestyle right for marriage and the person you want to marry?
Never think a man or woman would accept you the way you are when you have a bad character or wrong mindset about marriage and the opposite sex.
One of such mindset is for a lady to believe her money is hers, but her husband is theirs. What a selfish and carnal mindset! An angry man or a man who keeps malice would be a pain in the neck of his wife.
Can you marry your kind of person?
Work on yourself, you can’t overdo that, and the best time is now for singles, and in marriage, keep working on yourself. The kind of person you marry would determine the kind of experience you’d have in marriage.
You can’t have a successful marriage, even if you get it right but your character, lifestyle, habit, and mentality are wrong. If the Adamic nature still remains in you and you marry that way, you’ll mess up your marriage. Whether you’re a pastor, celebrity, or ordinary person, your kind of person and your partner determines the outcome of your marriage.
Don’t accept the way you if it’s what many people or those who are closer to you complain about. Work on yourself to the right person, and ensure you marry the right person. When this happens, you’re 60% guaranteed a successful marriage.
