There’s a school of thought that believes that marriage should be enjoyed and not endured. Another school of thought believes that there are times in marriage when one will have to endure, due to the challenges of life and other unexpected circumstances that occur after the wedding.
But the truth is that marriage can either be enjoyed or endured, or you’d experience both of them depending on so many factors. Seeing that marriage is a subset of life, and there are ups and downs in life, what keeps us going, and not to give up is wearing a positive outlook on life.
Marriage will be enjoyed, although not with the exclusion of challenges when you marry the right person, become the right person, involve the right person, and you have the right understanding of marriage plus having the right motive for marrying. It just has to be right, otherwise, you’d have an unpalatable experience about it – endurance.
But all those things still don’t guarantee a smooth marital experience, but you’d be at an advantage over those who got it all wrong, because if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?
When the chips are down, endure it with your partner, and when things become rosy, enjoy it because life is seasonal, not perpetual. It is only in eternity that things are eternal, whether bliss or doom – depending on the choice you make today. But on earth, there would be seasons where you’d enjoy your marriage, and there are times you would endure some challenges when they come.
Nonetheless, you should have more enjoyable seasons in marriage than endurance, but it comes with a price.
Challenges are inevitable. It could be due to spiritual attacks, in-laws, or even the weaknesses of one’s spouse. What should be our attitude when these challenges come?
Regardless of the challenges faced, marriage will be enjoyable when a man and his wife fight the battle together, but it will be an endurance trek when one person bears the weight of the challenge alone.
Let us get this straight: marriage will be enjoyed when the two that make up a marriage are willing to make it work. Challenges would come, but you won’t feel the heat when you two stay put to quench it. But how can you enjoy your marriage when you leave your partner to face the challenges alone?
Yorubas in their wisdom assert that one strange hand cannot get a load to the head. It is with two hands that a load can be carried easily without bearing the weight alone.
There’s someone reading this. You have left your spouse to fight the battle in your marriage alone. Remember, the vows you made before God and men. If Adam and Eve were together, the serpent wouldn’t have prevailed over her. Remember, woe to the one that is alone. How can one prevail against the enemy in marriage?
Dear singles, do all that is in your best to get it right maritally. The beauty of marriage is not in the handsomeness of the husband or the pretty face the wife has but in the quality of their souls. Marriage is enjoyable when you have a spouse that is willing to withstand the heat in the kitchen rather than leave when it is much.
Elisabeth and Zechariah were serving God despite their barrenness. What do you think would have happened if it were to be in this 21st century that they were infertile? Yet, they never leave each other until God comes through for them.
Marriage is to be enjoyed, and not to be endured; but this option lies in who you marry, who you become, and your disposition to challenge when they come.
When the times are hard, face it together. When things get rosy, enjoy it together. When her breasts sag or he now becomes the different man you use to know, enjoy it together. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s the only greener where it is watered.
Change your mentality about your spouse in marriage. Your spouse is not the devil. Involve God. And if you must fight in marriage, fight against self and Satan, but not with your spouse.
Remember, marriage is to be enjoyed regardless of the challenges you may face. It only depends on who you marry, who you become, the principles you adopt, and the person you involve plus your motive for marrying. If all these are not right, you will endure your marriage.