Several philosophies now circulate the media space as it relates to marriage, how to find who to marry, and many others. Unfortunately, those who do not know their left from right found out that they have been hoodwinked because they swallowed these perspectives hook, line, and sinker.
Be cautious, there are many keyboards or online relationship counselors who write things that are not consistent with the truth of the scripture, and if you’re not prudent, you’d buy lies in the place of the truth.
One of these lies is: Marry your friend.
Does marriage become successful when you marry your friend?
Most times, your friend may not make it to the point of becoming your significant other. No matter how well you get along, some people are better off as friends, not lovers or spouses.
Reasons why marrying your friend may not work.
1. Your friend may not be destined to be your spouse
When Abraham wanted a wife for his son, I’m sure Isaac had friends where they lived, but his father sent his servant to his people to get his son a wife.
Knowing the right person to marry is not done through dating or cohabitation, it’s by doing the right things coupled with the mercy of God. If you allow one useless philosophy to alter God’s plan for your life, you’re on your own.
I know many best friends who do not marry each other even when we thought they’d end up as spouses. Let God lead you and don’t think your understanding of knowing how to find the right person who is not in tandem with His ways would suffice.
2. A friend today can be an enemy tomorrow
Haven’t you seen that before?
You should carefully, prayerfully, and patiently choose who to marry because you don’t know what the future holds. And that you married the right person does not absolve you from life’s challenges.
Ain’t you surprised when you read news on divorce cases, spousal killings, and the likes? One would wonder what went wrong. Don’t just marry a friend, marry someone you’d be friends with till death do you part, come rain or shine.
Mind you, you can’t know this when you lean on your understanding, let God guide you.
3. Fairweather friends exist
There are some friends who stick with you because of what they can get from you, some stay because they’ve not found a better option, and some are just there because of the good times.
Make no mistake about it, finding who to marry is more than marrying a friend, of course, you won’t marry an enemy but see beyond those indoctrinations.
4. Marriage is more than friendship
Are you shocked to hear that?
Yes, marriage is more than just being friends. Marriage is a covenant relationship and your friend may not work or walk with you to create such union. If you think you two qualify for marriage because you get along easily, don’t be surprised when the reality of life sets in.
The correct perspective to this phrase – marry your friend – is this: Become best of friends with whoever you’re married to. In short, your spouse should be your best friend. There’s no point in having a best friend other than your spouse.
If you two can’t be best of friends, why marry in the first place?
And to those who are bent on applying this philosophy ignorantly, your best friend can become your nightmare in marriage if you do not involve God. It’s not enough to have known each other for donkey years, are you compatible in destiny, and why do they want to marry you?
Wake up, friends. We now live in difficult times that if you neglect God in your decision-making, you’d regret the outcome of such a decision, and living with the consequences would be lamentable. It’s not enough to be friends, what’s God saying about your union?
You’d agree with me that the most intelligent of us can’t see beyond our nose, even if we’re spiritual. Let God guide you. As anointed as he was, Samuel almost made the mistake of anointing the wrong person until God spoke.
There are good friends, don’t get me wrong, but God doesn’t see things the way we see them. His ways aren’t the same as ours. Chances are that your marriage won’t succeed if you decide to marry your friend without involving God.
Finally, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding.
Let’s hear from you; does a marriage become successful when you marry a friend?
This as being my thoughts lately. Reading this post gave me more insight as regards ‘marry your friend’.
And as if that’s not enough, do you know that some are even after ‘marry a soul mate’? And I wonder;
How can one find true friendship from a man or woman?
The only thing that comes to my mind is, a good friend with God will be a good friend to you. And this friendship can or is built over time…
Many thanks for your comment Dare.
And this hit me hard, “A good friend with God will be a good friend to you.” You have just given me a nugget for the second series of this post. All you wrote is true. The cyberworld has been littered with many erroneous teaching when it comes to relationships and marriage. Friendship is indeed built over time.