Mistakes are inevitable in life and relationship but some are avoidable if you carefully and discreetly tread the path of wisdom and understanding.
To make mistakes are sometimes normal but living with the mistake or its experiences are worse still.
Wise people learn from the mistakes of others, but fools learn from their own mistakes and would continue to repeat same.
Here are some of the mistakes you must avoid.
1. Setting unrealistic goal on whom to marry
When you believe that you must marry any man who deflowered you or that you would meet the right person in a particular place, this is not ideal.
Don’t set your mind to something unrealistic or set a goal that would end up destroying your life in the future.
I remembered what I did that when I was in school too. I set my mind on meeting my dream partner at a particular level in the university. Of a truth I did meet a lady who appeared to be the one.
She was all I wanted in a woman and we both had the relationship rolling. Years later, God revealed the fate of the relationship to me and I have no option than to back out.
It wasn’t easy though but I was thankful to God that no strings were attached. So, we didn’t lose anything when we parted ways.
Some had set unrealistic goals that became an incurable goiter they carry about. If he is not tall, dark, rich, and handsome, he’s no other person; if she does not have a Masters of Ph.D., I can’t settle for less.
While these may not be bad, let it not hinder you from receiving God’s best.
Mind you, as ladies, don’t think any man who deflowered you must be the right person. You know why? Your emotions can mislead you or lead you to do the wrong things. Put your hopes in God, if you trust Him without leaning on your understanding, He will settle you.
2. To marry the person you impregnated or got you pregnant
Anyone who married you on the grounds of pregnancy did not do so by choice, it was a decision taken by circumstance.
God didn’t orchestrate pregnancy to be the route to marriage.
And a man that married you through pregnancy may ‘misbehave’ in marriage because he didn’t make the choice to choose you, likewise the woman.
That you were impregnated or got pregnant doesn’t mean you must marry the person or you can’t get married again.
When you come into genuine repentance with God and you take your time to get the right things done, He will bring the right person your way who would love you and accept you for who you are.
The only consequence is to be responsible for the pregnancy or you bear the demands of the pregnancy.
3. Spending your fortune on a person without a positive assurance for marriage
Lots of singles are victims of this. Why should you sponsor a person to school when you’re not his or her parent or a benefactor? It’s wrong to do so because human beings are susceptible to change and are likely to bite the fingers that once fed them.
It’s unwise to do so when your fate is undecided. It’s not a crime to be generous, but it is wrong when you do so blindly or on the grounds of ensuring that that person marries you.
Wake up and don’t live in fool’s paradise.
Until you’re sure beyond doubt or that God has convinced you two, don’t ever make such attempt. Even if God convinced you, do so wisely.
4. Putting all your hopes in him or her
I have also discovered that many makes mistakes by thinking or living with the dreams that a person they love or who professed love to them would eventually marry them.
With this belief, they build their lives, resources and spend the productive years of their life with the person who doesn’t desire a life with them. At long last, they’ll end up heart broken or vow never to love again because of the mistake they made.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket if God hasn’t told you to do so. If you put your egg in a man’s basket, he’ll break the basket – deliberately or unconsciously. But God will never do so if you put your eggs in His basket.
5. Living with your past experiences
That a man jilted you doesn’t mean love doesn’t exist. That a woman broke your heart doesn’t mean there are no good ladies out there.
You can never come out of your past if you still live in the past or you carry on with the negative experience it left in your mind.
The fact that something bad happens to you in the past doesn’t mean nothing good can come out in the future. Don’t live with the pain of the past in your present. Dont carry over the bitterness or anger into your new relationship.
Forgive yourself. Forgive the person who hurt you. Let go. Let God, so you can enjoy the blessings that lies ahead.
6. Being afraid to lose him or her
Let go if there’s every need to do so rather than hold on while you groan in pain and anguish.
If the relationship is an abusive one or it’s destroying your life gradually – toxic – don’t make the mistake of staying in there with the hope that change would come.
Although, it’s difficult to let go when sex or emotional attachment is involved, but if you’re afraid to let go, the relationship would destroy you and mess up your life.
Be wise and don’t repeat the mistake you once made. Let go and don’t live with the terrible experience you once had.
What other mistakes must singles avoid in their relationship?
