“He smokes, but comes to church; but the only thing I don’t like about him is the smoking part of his life, I think I would manage him.”
“She’s really not the spiritual type, but she’s not worldly. Meanwhile, she likes me, and the feeling is mutual. I think we’re cool because the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.”
Most times, it’s not pride when you know your worth and live based on it. But sadly, it’s painful to lower your worth just to fit into the status quo. However, those who don’t know their worth usually live lesser lives or accept anything that comes their way.
I have seen most ladies who for the fear of the unknown or remaining single, accepted men who were below their standards. Some men also have literally begged certain ladies to stay in their lives because they felt like a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush.
Are you in a relationship with someone you should never have been in a relationship with? Does something tell you that you’re more than this, or that you’re not in the right relationship, but you have been trapped in a wrong relationship because waiting for the right person looks like rocket science?
If you’d never settle for less when it comes to choosing who to marry, you need to know the following.
1. Who you are
Who are you? Yes, I’m asking you this question. Do you know your identity in life?
Who you are is not a function of your age, name, class, status, or worth; it’s a question of knowing if you have discovered yourself as it relates to purpose discovery.
When you know who you are, you won’t settle for ordinary people who don’t know your worth but only see you based on their shortsightedness.
The Knowledge of your true self should help you know who to mingle with and who you should never associate with. It’s not pride for the eaglet to separate herself from the chicken, they’re both birds, but not birds of the same feather.
When you have an understanding of your true identity in the light of your divine purpose, you’d take your marital life seriously and never settle for ordinary people. It’s not pride to do so, it’s understanding.
If you mingle with the wrong person, they will bring you down to their level and stunt your growth, and this also happens in marriage.
2. What you carry
It is what you carry that should determine who you marry. It amazes me that most single ladies and gentlemen, ladies especially do not know what they carry, this is why they settle for some cadre of men that seeks for their hand in marriage or relationship.
What many of you carry can transform nations, but because of ignorance, you settle for someone who wants to feast on your greatness and destroy God’s purpose in your life.
Dear lady, what you carry is more than two breasts, buttocks, and beauty, you’re a womb-man. Every lady is a potential great mother only if they know what they carry in life.
Before Jesus Christ could be born, the womb of a woman was needed. Whatever seed you’re given should be nurtured and multiplied. If a man that’s a nonentity gives you sperm, it’ll be hard for you to bring forth great children.
You carry what it takes to make a man great had it been you know who you are as a woman. It’s the ignorance of your true identity that would make you run after a man to validate your worth or make your life complete.
Going back to the Book of Beginnings, you’d see that the woman was created for the man, not just riffraff, but a man who’s heading somewhere, a man who is purposeful and kingdom-minded. Why attach yourself to a man who has no bearing in life? Why pitch your tent with a woman who all she knows is the latest hair extension or clubhouse in town?
Sir, you’re not just a man because you have the third leg between your thighs, see beyond pleasure and discover what you’re made of. When you know what you carry as a man, you won’t loiter around ordinary women who only live for pleasure.
Know what you carry, so you can marry who you can carry or that can carry you. Inside those who have discovered themselves lies in great potential.
You weren’t created to be less or ordinary, you were created to be great. Don’t marry a man or woman that would frustrate your dreams, destiny, or divine purpose; patiently and prayerfully find someone who can help you fulfill your divine destiny.
3. Know the God you serve
It’s sad to see ladies fidget or worry when a man walks out of their lives. Many have been laden with fears of “will I find another man?” “How can I find another lady like her?” All of these fears have kept them in the wrong relationship because they don’t know God.
The way some ladies have been indoctrinated has made them look incomplete without a man in their lives. Those who know the God they serve can never be unsettled when an ordinary man or a misfit walks out of their lives. And when a lady says she’s done with you, let her go, she’s only myopic to know that the God you serve is greater than the god she sees.
Most times we settle for less because we don’t know the God we serve. Scripture states that those who know God shall be strong and do exploits. If you don’t know Him, you’d be frustrated over issues you shouldn’t worry about.
Quit that relationship and discover who you are. Don’t just marry anyone who catches your fancy, prayerfully and patiently find someone you can carry, or that can carry you. However, those who know the God they serve experientially, not religiously, do not settle for less in their choice of who to marry.
See, you’re not a loser if he walks out of your life, or she says she’s no longer interested in you; it’s even not over for you if you reject his or her proposal provided you do that prayerfully, and you know who you are, what you carry, and the God you serve. Never settle for less because the right person will come if you don’t give up.
Remember, those who settle for less never get His best.