“When the purpose of a thing is unknown”, as declared by Myles Munroe of blessed memory, “it’s certain that abuse is inevitable”.
Relationships are human connections that can either make your life better or destroy it beyond repair. Love relationships are different from other kinds of connections because it involves the knitting together of your souls, bodies, destinies, and spirits.
You can’t compare the kind of relationship you have with your colleague with that of your lover or spouse. It’s easy to change jobs, but it’s difficult to change the one whom your soul truly loves, except you’re a player.
However, it is unfortunate that many people, especially singles, teenagers, or some married people who dabbled into a relationship did not do what they should do before they committed their lives to it. This is why most love relationships have a regrettable end.
To cultivate a purposeful relationship leading to marriage, there are many things you should do. Foremost, it’s imperative that you’re financially independent, emotionally mature, mentally stable, and spiritually sound. But the most important thing you must do is to.
Get a life
What is life?
The fact that you’re alive or existing doesn’t mean you have a life. Let me not sound like a motivational speaker here, but you start living the day you discover what your life is worth living for.
The purpose of life is to live life for a purpose and the purpose of a relationship is to help you become better, not to destroy you.
You can either live your life (or relationship) for a purpose or pleasure, you can’t do both.
Many go into love relationships without knowing the kind of life they want to live; define it, and live it out. Sadly, when you don’t know the kind of life you want to live, you will live the life others want you to live, either consciously or unconsciously.
For instance, a man who wants premarital sex, or a lady who believes she needs to feel like a woman by having sex will fulfill their desire with a partner who does not know the kind of life they want to live. If you don’t know the purpose of living, you will abuse your life for the wrong purpose.
Hear this, it’s a choice: to either live for purpose or pleasure or to live for God or to live for the god of this world. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Christian, or not; if you don’t get a life before you go into a love relationship, you’ll destroy your life in it.
It is easy to abuse your life in a relationship or the purpose of your relationship when you don’t know the kind of life you want to live. The purpose of a relationship is to make your life better, anything other than that which makes you compromise your purity, values, and beliefs will destroy you.
Discover who you are before someone else or that relationship makes you live a life you do not want to live.
How do I discover myself?
There are two ways to do that. Ask God to reveal it to you, or pursue your ambition. Meanwhile, knowing who you are is not a product of your desire, it’s a product of your discovery – in the place of prayer.
Pursuing your desire does not give you a true picture of what God has destined you to be. It’s like buying a dog for security but the dog wants to be a pet. When you discover and fulfill what God has ordained you for, there’s an earthly and eternal reward; but when you fulfill your desire, you’d only have an earthly reward and no eternal relevance.
Meanwhile, you can’t discover yourself when you are tied in a relationship, it would be easy to discover yourself when you are alone. Assuming you’ve gotten a life through the discovery of your divine purpose, one thing this knowledge would do for you is to keep you from the wrong person, thing, and relationship.
If you don’t have a life, it would be easy for you to tolerate or accept the wrong person or thing because you’re ignorant of who you are and what you carry on your inside.
Get a life ladies, you don’t need a man to make you complete, God created a man and a woman to complement each other in marriage, not in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.
Why should you be begging for love from the wrong person when you should be mutually expressing love with the right person? Get a life!
And to my brothers, why would you chase everything in a skirt, or waste away your life on the pursuit of vanity when you can become a force to reckon with in your generation?
Get a life friend before you go into a relationship leading to marriage. Those who don’t have a life to live usually enter into a trial and error kind of relationship to see if the relationship would work.
When you have a life, you know a relationship that should work from the one who wouldn’t. Most times, you don’t need to be in a relationship before you know if it would work or not. You don’t learn how to swim by jumping into a swimming pool, you learn by learning.
It would be a great honor to quit that relationship now if you haven’t discovered what your life is worth living for. Get a life. Don’t waste your time, resources, and life by dating Paul or Paulina in search of true love; get a life first, then it would be easy for you to find true love.
Remember, if you don’t get a life now before you enter into that relationship, you’d live a life others want you to live and it’s to the detriment of your life and destiny.