Women are amazing creatures; if I do not know of any, my better half, mom, sister, and the few good ones I’ve been privileged to meet in life gave me this experience. If you have ever complained that women are whatever you say they are, you’ve probably met the wrong ones, or you lack the understanding of how to dwell with them in knowledge.
Do you know that women are wonderful creatures that reflect the wonders of God’s creation? There are good and famous ones like Kathryn Khulman and our very own Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, and there are bad ones like the biblical Delilah or Potiphar’s wife.
To the good but gullible ones, I pen these words. It’s painful to see or hear how they fall victim in the hands of men who only want to have a fling, and they ignorantly commit their lives to some men who don’t want commitment but intimacy.
Don’t be emotional with a man until he has proven to be the one you should truly fall in love with.
Did you understand that? Please read that again; now slowly, and meditatively.
As a woman, you’re more of an emotional creature than men who are logical. Although few ladies think logically, most are expressive beings. Why is being emotional an issue?
Women love both sexual and non-sexual touch, they feel things and react to issues most men would naturally overlook. Added to this, a woman thinks more about the person she’s in love with than most men. A man has more things running through his mind and would hardly think about you.
A man may be busy with other things in the day that he might not remember to call or text, but once a woman is in love, all her emotion is invested in the relationship, except for those who have learned the hard way.
Why should you get so emotional with a man who you’re never sure he’s going to walk you down the aisle? But why?
See, when a woman is in love, she loves to spend time and give herself to the relationship. This is why when you fall in love with the wrong person, it is difficult to get out of the relationship. This is the major reason why many of you are trapped in a toxic relationship.
To be sure you’re falling in love with the right man, you must have done the needful in the place of prayer, patience, and carefulness. Don’t throw the door of your heart open to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes for a relationship.
Why should you even give him the key to the door of your heart?
Some of you call it, “mumu button.” Why should a man who is not your husband know the password to your heart and life? Get serious and don’t be emotional.
If you’re not emotionally empowered or mature, a man would easily toss you like a pendulum bob, or you’d live as though your life depends on him. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to be emotional, but don’t be naive.
Many of you throw yourself into any relationship that looks promising without doing the needful. Why I frown against dating relationships is because it’s a waste of time, emotions, resources, and a huge distraction in destiny.
If you know you’re ready for marriage, do the needful. It’s either you trust God to guide you, or you lead yourself into it. I’m sure you know the outcome if God is not part of the equation.
And if God is involved, consider these things before you get emotional or fall in love as the case may be.
1. Is he a man who can protect you emotionally, financially, and spiritually? It’s the duty of a woman to build a home (marriage) and it is the duty of a man to protect the builder. Don’t marry a man who doesn’t have the capacity to protect you in these areas. If you do, you’d be vulnerable to men who would give you emotional, spiritual, and financial comfort.
2. Can you submit to his authority in marriage? Never, I repeat, never fall in love with a man who you is not submissive to His head. It is what a man is submitted to that he’d influence you with. But a man who’s submitted to Christ is the best man you can ever fall in love with. However, a man who is driven by ego would be difficult to submit to because he wants to be worshipped. Think twice before you say you’re in love.
3. Can he lead in love? A man can either lead you in love or boss you like a lord. One is firm but tender, while the other one is unruly and domineering. Don’t be swayed by his niceness whilst you’re still “courting,” look beyond that.
4. Is he truly a man you can lean on? Trust me, it is not about his broad shoulders or six packs abs, is he reliable in terms of integrity, trust, and character? If not, call it quits.
5. Is he driven by purpose or pleasure? A man who is driven by pleasure has no sense of focus in life. Never fall in love with a man if all he wants is your waist or he’s not aiming to be great in life. It’s not the size of his TV that matters, does he have a vision you can partner with; provided you have a vision too?
If you want to fall in love with a man or get so emotional in that relationship, make sure you do so with the right man, at the right time, and in the right place (marriage).