Before you’d conclude and say all women are the same, kindly read this carefully.
Good women exist, and there are bad ones too. What makes a woman beautiful to behold isn’t a function of her appearance or the size of her boobs, it has more to do with her character and temperament. And what makes a woman bad equally has nothing to do with the former, but the latter.
The problem most men have with ladies isn’t caused by the ladies, it’s an issue of a mismatch, and ignorance of how to live with a woman. The way you live with a woman is different from how you live with a man.
If you want a good woman you’d spend the rest of your life with, first, be a good man. What makes you good as a man has to do with your character, maturity (understanding), mentality, and the purpose you live for. Being nice to a lady doesn’t mean you’re good if you lack the understanding of how to relate with her without issues.
Next, marry a good woman. We still have good women out there, and when I mean good, I do not refer to her sexual prowess, wifely qualities, or beauty. A woman is good to the extent that she’s willing to stay faithful to you, giving you peace of mind, and she’s not after your pocket, amongst other features good women exhibit.
Many guys don’t know what they want in a woman and that’s why they’re confused, hopping from Nkechi to Yetunde, and then to Hadiza. Many of you want a woman who is good in bed, with an hourglass curvature, intelligent, beautiful, a virgin, tall, having straight legs, not too chubby, and all that.
As good as all those features are, you can’t have them all in one woman except you want to create your angel, and that’s only possible in the figment of your imagination.
What do you truly want in a woman?
You need to be realistic about it. Don’t run after those mundane things that don’t matter to your life, marriage, and destiny. A woman with a cute body today may end up becoming a size 14 (I doubt if that exists) tomorrow.
Go for content. Place more emphasis on the content than the container. If she’s humble, teachable, respectful, and with a good character, go for her; just make sure God’s involved.
Why should you be chasing several girls because you’re looking for Miss Right? Have you made yourself the right man?
There are lots of men out there who don’t have what it takes to live with a woman. Many of you think once you’ve made money and more money and that you’re good in bed, that’s all that a woman wants. Come off it!
Several male celebrities had money but were miserable in their marriages. Good women exist, it all depends on you, and how you treat them. If you give a woman sperm, she’d give you a baby, and if you give her trouble, she’d make life hell for you.
What you need to live with a woman is knowledge. That you know women sometimes act like babies isn’t knowledge if you don’t know how to babysit a baby. Do you know your woman?
See, it’s not difficult to know a woman if you’re married or engaged to the right one. It becomes impossible to please a woman when you’re hooked to the wrong one. With the wrong woman, you’d disagree on almost all areas of life.
Meanwhile, the following pointers would help you recognize the right woman as you involve God in your quest.
1. Can she support you?
Real men are chasers. They pursue their dreams, vision, career, business, divine purpose, and aspirations. It’s only a silly man who chases everything he sees in a skirt and bra.
Can she support you to achieve your dreams and goals in life? If she can’t, why stay with her, or promise her marriage? A supportive woman is more interested in your life than your pocket. A good woman is a pillar of support to her man.
2. Can she submit to your authority in marriage?
We all have an ego – everyone prides in whatever makes them outstand others. It’s unknown to many why God commanded wives to submit to their husbands, but the reason isn’t farfetched. Women find it natural to love, but submission doesn’t come naturally to many because of their knowledge and ego.
Never, I repeat, never fall in love with a woman who can’t be submissive to you. Some women find it easy to submit to their boss, leaders, or pastors, but not their husbands. Watch for the sign, if she’s the submissive type.
Submission isn’t slavery or subjugation. It is accepting and yielding to a man’s leadership the way she yields her life to the Lord. It’s easy for a woman to be submissive when she’s truly submissive to God.
And hear this, a woman’s submission would be easy when her husband is submitted to his Head – Christ.
3. Is she a “cover”?
Adam said, “She’s my bone of bone (support) and flesh of flesh (cover).” Not all women can cover their husbands, some would expose and put them to shame.
She must be able to cover you financially when you’re broke; spiritually when you’re down, and emotionally when you’re weak. A wife as a cover is more of a helpmeet than a wife who isolates herself or does things alone without involving her husband.
If she cannot cover you in your weakest moment, you have no business being with her.
4. Is she driven by purpose or pleasure?
It’s better to live for purpose than to live for pleasure. Women who live for pleasure are “highly” materialistic, but women who live for purpose are contented, moderate, and simple.
Don’t ever fall in love with a woman or propose to one who has not discovered her purpose of existence. Life was created for a purpose, and men and women were created for a purpose. A woman who has no purpose to live for isn’t a good fit for marriage, except you also do not have a purpose to live for.
Above all, involve God in your quest. A good woman may not come in the package you want, but if you walk by sight, you’d miss her. Never forget also that women are not difficult to understand only if you’re the right man, you’re with the right woman, and you have the right knowledge to dwell with her.
Read Straight Talks to Ladies on Men and Relationships.
