Many of us have heard different stories about marriage; of how some enjoy theirs while many endure theirs. Those who enjoyed theirs weren’t lucky as those who endured theirs. They only knew what many do not know.
Besides marrying the right person, becoming the right person, applying the right principles, and to involve the right person, your approach to marriage determines your success in it.
No marriage becomes successful without the mutual efforts of the parties involved to achieve success.
If you’d enjoy your marriage or endure it, there is a wrong or right approach you must consider. But I’ll advise you to take the right one.
FPL is an acronym for FRIENDSHIP, PARTNERSHIP, and LOVERS.
To start with, friendship is the core of every successful marriage. Everything that makes marriage successful is beyond sex or living together as a husband and wife. Without friendship, marriage will be hard and harry.
If your spouse is not your best friend, it’s unlikely that you’d enjoy your marriage. The companionship facet of marriage is enjoyed through friendship. If the only time you bond with your mate in marriage is during sex, then you’re a fair-weather friend.
And if your spouse isn’t your best friend, make them one because the basic ingredients for friendship which also enhance intimacy are talk, trust, and time.
Friends create time to talk and they always keep the line of communication open. Outside marriage, there is a limit to how a man and a woman can relate with each other, but in marriage, it’s illimitable.
To be your spouse’s best friend, be friendly. Friendship is about giving and receiving, and it’s exclusively mutual. You should share your time, resources, and ideas with your friend (spouse).
Lack of friendship between a man and his wife is an opportunity for separation. They may not be physically separated, but there would be an emotional vacuum between them.
Meanwhile, marriage will be like an endurance trek when you approach it on the pedestal of husband and wife relationship. Those who relate to each other as husband and wife are burdened with the obligation of marriage, but when you relate as friends, you will easily ease the stress that comes with the married life.
It won’t be a task or burden for a man to help his wife in the kitchen. Who isn’t going to lend a helping hand to a friend he or she loves when they’re together? But when you treat your spouse like a slave, you won’t enjoy the bliss associated with marriage.
Are you a friend to your spouse or you act like a foe?
A foe is an opposer, competitor, attacker, or an enemy. If you’d enjoy your marriage, relate as friends. It doesn’t mean you won’t fulfill your roles and responsibilities, but you’d do so as friends.
For instance, if your wife helps you out with the bill, you being the head, would payback. And as a woman, have the mindset that your money is our money, discard the selfish mindset that you must lay claim on your money. How do you intend to be his help meet if you can’t help him with the bills without expecting a payback?
It’s selfishness not to help your spouse when you can while asserting rights and responsibilities. True friends help and support each other regardless of the situation.
More so, when there is a feud, true friends may fight, but they won’t count scores; they’ll disagree, but would reconcile quickly. It is when you consider your spouse as a stranger that you’d find means to pay them back in their coin.
And when you choose to attack your spouse’s image or self-worth, you’re not a friend but a foe. A foe accuses and condemns often, but a friend loves at all times.
Never form the habit of recalling your spouse’s wrongdoing, it causes negative reactions in marriage which leads to emotional abuse. A good friend doesn’t keep records of wrongdoing but would overlook them. When the need arises, they’ll correct each other in love.
Don’t go into marriage with the mindset of becoming a husband and wife. Relate with your spouse as best friends, then mutually discharge your obligations under an atmosphere of love that is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional.
Above all, do you relate with Jesus Christ as a friend or as a Savior? You’d enjoy a deeper level of intimacy when you relate with Him as a friend. After all, He called you a friend. Is there any other level of relationship greater than friendship?
Little did I wonder when He said, “There’s no greater love than for a man to lay down his life for his friends.” If He did that for you, why don’t you give Him in totality what He demands from you – the whole of your heart?
If you’ve not made Him your friend, it’s never too late to do so now. Do you know that there’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother? And guess what? He’s no other person than Jesus Christ.
The love He had for you over 2000 years ago still remains fervent as it was when He said, “It’s finished” on the Cross. Make a complete U-turn now from the way that seems right in your sight but whose end is destruction. Follow His way that leads to life today and you’d never regret you did.