“Everything that a painter did or that a writer wrote was a part of his training and preparation for what he was to do.” – Ernest Hemingway
Do you know that you can’t do beyond what you’ve prepared yourself to do? What many end up becoming or doing in marriage is what they prepare themselves to be, knowingly or unknowingly. However, you can’t become who you haven’t prepared yourself to be.
What kind of husband or wife would you be in marriage when the eventualities of life unfolds?
Marriage will test what you’re made of, and if you can’t handle those situations when they come, you’d make a mess of your union and become a pain to your spouse.
Think about this for a second, those who abused their partner domestically do so because they don’t have the capacity to handle their emotions at the slightest provocation.
Meanwhile, certain things are unavoidable in marriage even if you’re married to an angel. Three of the inevitable things that happens to all marriages are listed below.
No matter how romantic your honeymoon is, or the grandeur of your wedding, conflicts are inevitable in marriage. Your Prince Charming or the Love of your Life will do something that would hurt you, either consciously or unconsciously.
How would you cope if you think marriage is all rosy?
Don’t be married if forgiveness, patience and tolerance hasn’t been added to your values in life. It’s an extra baggage if you can keep malice for weeks, or months and still be comfortable doing that.
Misunderstanding would come because of your differences in belief especially with the issue of sex, money and third-party matters in marriage.
How would you resolve misunderstandings when they come? Will you be quick to resolve it, or you’d leave it till the devil blows it up? Be prepared to handle misunderstanding because it will come, but be more prepared for its resolution. That’s wisdom!
One of the unavoidable things in life is challenges, and marriage is not exempted from it. Whether you like it or not, they will come, but the question is are you prepared to face life’s challenges in marriage?
Some challenges could be health-related, fertility issue, sex, physical and psychological problems (domestic violence), in-laws, spiritual, or financial issues; how would you cope with any of these when they come?
It is not how grandiose your wedding is that would help you overcome your challenges. And don’t get me wrong, it is okay if you can afford an elaborate wedding, but be prepared to face real life issues in marriage.
You need more than a flawless skin or beauty to handle issues in marriage, it is what you’re made of on your inside that would determine your ability to solve marital problems.
Wisdom, patience, problem solving skills, and resilience are needed to handle tough times in marriage because they’re not forever if only you’re strong enough to handle them.
I discovered that in marriage, being content with what you have is a sine qua non. No matter who you are, what you have or not, no matter who your spouse is or not, you need a great deal of contentment if you want to be happy in marriage.
The enemy of contentment is comparison and the society we live in would put you in a rat race for competition and dissatisfaction if you’re not careful.
No gender is exonerated from this issue. When a man isn’t content with his chubby wife, he runs after slim ladies. When a woman isn’t satisfied with what her husband offers in marriage, she either nags him or compares him with others.
And the truth is this, you can’t have it all in life and marriage, there’s going to be an area of your life where you just have to be grateful and content. Meanwhile, being godly and contentment are priceless.
How would you cope when some situations come to test your level of contentment? Or some third party comes to unsettle your mind and tries to talk you out of being content with your spouse? Will you give in or stand your ground?
As I cap my pen, remember that there will be high and lows, good and bad, beautiful and ugly moments in marriage, are you prepared for it, or you’re only daydreaming about how glamorous your wedding day would be?
The wedding aso-ebis, souvenirs, halls and decorations, music, and all of those won’t help you in marriage. It’s who you are, who you marry, and what you’ve prepared to be that would determine your marital bliss and success.