“If you fail to plan, you’d plan to fail” is a common cliché that has proven to be true in many situations. You can’t excel in an examination you do not prepare for, and if you don’t know, marriage is an examination.
Lots of things would be examined in your life in the school of marriage. Are you preparing for a wedding or marriage?
Check most failed marriages, one of those things that led to its failure are the three things I’d share with you. No matter how much time and effort you put into your wedding day, it won’t be more than a one or two days event. Many do so much to have a glamorous wedding event, but they mess up in marriage because they fail to plan and prepare adequately for it.
In case you don’t know, you can’t over-prepare for marriage. There are many things in marriage that most singles do not prepare for and I’d be gracious enough to let you in on some of them.
1. Sex
Did you see those three letter words up there, it can either hurt or heal in marriage? And at the same time, it can either be enjoyed or be distasteful, and it can as well scatter or bind married couples.
Don’t just be prepared to think you’d have it two-four-seven in marriage, be prepared to embrace self-control when you don’t have it when you want. If you’re not prepared for the good and not-so-good times for marital sex, you’d cheat on your partner.
No matter your fantasy about it, for those who have not explored their sexuality, what will you do if your partner could not meet your sexual expectations in marriage?
One of the reasons you’re told to shun premarital sex, masturbation, pornography and the likes isn’t just because they’re sinful, but they would affect your marital life.
How can you enjoy sex with your spouse when you have tasted every Tom, Dick and Harry, yet your innocent spouse do not have the capacity to satisfy your wild orgies?
Marital sex is sweet, but it can be bitter depending on the kind of person you marry. Stay sexually pure; the benefits are immense in marriage. No comparison, there’s contentment, no sexual past to hunt you, no fears of any sort or worries.
Prepare your mind for what marital sex is, but never practice sex before marriage, it ruins intimacy and exposes you to terrible consequences. However, marital sex is meant to be enjoyed when you’re not selfish.
More so, size doesn’t matter, but skill and understanding when it comes to sexual intimacy. You don’t need years of experience with premarital sex to enjoy marital sex, God designed it in a way that two inexperienced partners would enjoy it, learn, and improve.
If you subscribe to lies from the pit of hell that you need sexual experience before you venture into marriage, you’re setting up yourself for destruction. Marital sex is sweet, but also embrace self-control and contentment in marriage.
If your wedding isn’t happening in less than two weeks, it’s ungodly to be reading books on sex; you’re only exposing yourself to lust, and pollution.
Meanwhile, there’s more to marriage than sex; ask purpose minded married couples and be prepared for it.
2. Finance
Money is good, it is one of those things that makes love, sex and marriage sweet; but when there’s a little or a prolonged scarcity of it, will your marriage stand? Or will your partner become your worst enemy?
If you can’t stand to support your partner during their financial down moments, then you’re not ready for marriage.
Moreover, you may borrow money to have a grand wedding or someone generous can sponsor you, but nobody will sponsor or borrow you money to solve your financial issues in marriage.
Also, who pays the bill and what bill is shared is another thing you should be prepared to handle. So, have a good source of income and be ready to support your spouse in marriage, especially ladies; you’re called help meet, not liabilities.
It’s a perverse and selfish mentality to think your money is yours, while your husband’s money belongs to both of you; that’s a carnal and wicked belief system.
And to the gentlemen, have a good source of income. It’s not the amount of sex rounds you can go that makes you a man, but your ability to provide. However, a man must be able to provide while a woman must have the capacity to support financially.
3. Third-party
Whether you like it or not, external influence would come from your parents, in-laws or friends. How strong enough you are to resist their negative influence would determine the lifespan and durability of your marriage.
There are good and bad in-laws. Singles, pray for God’s mercy to have a good spouse and in-laws. Don’t pray that your mother-in-law will be dead, someone will as well pray that for you when you become a mother.
Pray to God for wisdom to relate peacefully with your mean in-law’s and to overcome any negative influence from any third-party.
If king Ahasuerus had kept the issue between him and his wife, Queen Vashti private, Memucan wouldn’t have interfered with his marriage. Grow up and master how to deal with external influence that would affect your union.
A man shall “leave” his father and mother, and a wife too mustn’t be tied to her father’s apron or the negative advice of her friends. Both of you need to leave anything that would affect your cleaving. However, watch who you receive counsel from when there are issues in your marriage.
Remember, it’s not every advice you swallow hook, line, and sinker even if it sounds good, test it with God’s word. Never forget that what God has joined together, let no man (parent, pastor, friends, family, work, advice, counselor, mentor, disciples, or whatever) put asunder.
How prepared are you going to handle these three essential issues that would greet you after your wedding reception? If your marriage would last, it begins with how you’d deal with the issues of sex, money and third-party issues in marriage.
Prepare for these, you can’t over-prepare.
