One of the most abused, misunderstood, and wrongly expressed concept in human psychology is love. Many thought they know so much about love but the outcome of their love life shows that they know next-to-nothing about it.
What do you know about love?
See, love is sweet, but it depends on these three things: first, the type of love you’re expressing; second, the kind of person you’re in love with; and lastly, your understanding of love.
Many have said or written a lot of things about love that sounds too good to be true, unbelievable, impracticable but only a few could tell us what love truly is. Love is more than feelings because feelings are fleeting.
Love is a different stroke for different folks, but the truth is that there’s one universal truth about love which you’ll understand as you read on.
You must have heard that love doesn’t cost a thing, ask God who gave us His only begotten Son; some would even tell you that love doesn’t exist, if it doesn’t, they won’t be alive today. Others would tell you that love is wicked or a scam, please ask them to show you the scammer or wicked person they fell in love with.
Now, let’s move further.
Love is sweet when you express the right kind of love at the right time.
According to Greek Philosophy, three kinds of love apply to all love relationships.
EROS is the expression of love through sexual means. Many have erroneously believed that sex equates love, and this is a capital lie. Sex isn’t love and love isn’t sex. Sex is for the married and in marriage. Don’t argue with that!
When you express Eros love as singles, you will face its consequences. Your undue exposure to Eros kind of love will ruin your ability to enjoy a sexually fulfilled life in marriage.
Singles who express Eros love with the likes of kissing, bear-hugging, cuddling, premarital sex, fondling and intimate touches are in lust. A wrong thing done at the wrong time is wrong.
When Eros kind of love comes first when it’s meant to come last, you will be blind to so many things that your common sense wouldn’t have normally ignored if you weren’t in lust.
For love to thrive, build the PHILEO kind. This love thrives in a friendship relationship. If your relationship will be successful, build friendship first.
Even if marriage is the goal of your relationship, learn to be friends, I mean best of friends. There’s a level of knowing, intimacy (not sexual), trust, communication, confidence, and value that thrives in quality friendship with someone you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with.
Friendship isn’t built on deception, it thrives on transparency. The goal of every quality friendship relationship is to make the life of your friend better than how you met him or her, in one way or the other that you can (Prov. 27:17).
Finally, to enjoy the sweetness of love, practice AGAPE love.
Another word for Agape love is TRUE love.
What makes Agape love true is that it is UNCONDITIONAL. When there’s a condition attached to why you love him or her, then you’re deceitful. What happens to your profession of love when that condition is no longer met?
True love is sweet when you add the ingredient of SELFLESSNESS. How beautiful would it be when you selflessly seek to make the life of your friend (intended spouse or spouse) better without waiting to be the recipient of their kindness?
Many are so selfish and self-centered to the point that they complain so much of what their spouse is not doing, while they are too big to remove the beam of selfishness that is in their eyes.
Added to this, you have to include the flavor of being SACRIFICIAL to your love relationship, oh-my-oh-my, you will be the happiest person on earth when you do this.
How far can you go to make his or her life better without being selfish or having an ulterior motive?
Please note, one of the reasons why you don’t enjoy true love in your relationship perhaps as singles is that you give in to Eros kind of love at the wrong time and your relationship lacks the Agape and Phileo type of love. And as married, you don’t see each other as true friends, but as husband and wife with roles and obligations, and the ingredients of Agape love is also lacking in your relationship.
See, I repeat this so you won’t forget, love is sweet depending on the kind of person you’re in love with. Who are you in love with?
You can either be in love with the wrong or right person.
Many have said ridiculous and nasty things about love because they fell in love with the wrong person.
The right person won’t cheat on you, not because they’re angels, but because they don’t want to do anything that will make them sin against God and to hurt you.
The right person won’t be after your money, your body or would have ulterior motives for seeking a relationship with you, they love you because they need you in their life.
If you are in love with the wrong person, applying all the truths you have acquired from marriage seminars, social media articles, WhatsApp programs, relationship conferences, or reading all worthwhile literature on love and marriage won’t work on them. Oooin, ko le werk!
You know why?
There’s no way you can love a lion, it will devour you when it’s hungry. And you can’t domesticate a serpent, it’ll sting you with its venom when you step on its tail.
To enjoy the beauty of love, you need to be in love with the right person.
Lastly, love is sweet when you have the right understanding of love.
Uncle, aunty, who told you what you know about love?
Some ladies believe that if you don’t hit them ‘omorogun’ (turning stick) you don’t love them. Some are even of the opinion that if you don’t know the color of their pants or bras, you don’t love them. Some who can summarize the episodes in Zee World in five minutes would believe you don’t love them if you don’t do like those actors.
And some guys who are ancient like Methuselah in their mindset would believe that they do you a favor for marrying you. Others interpret love to mean you swallowing every order they give without the permission for you to humbly make your request known.
See, the best place to acquire a well-proven and tested knowledge about love is in the Bible. Everything the world has to offer you that doesn’t tally with it will destroy you like COVID 19. You can’t enjoy love in your relationship when you have a wrong understanding of it.
All the truths you need to know about love is in the Holy Bible. It has no revised, updated, modified, or outdated information about love. But when what you know is wrong information passed on to you by those who had a bitter experience with love, you are on a long thing.
Dear uncles and aunties, do not forget this in a jiffy: love is sweet when you’re in love with the right person when you have the right understanding of what love is and you MUTUALLY express the right kind of love at the right time and with the right person.