If you are a woman, a lady, a teenager, a church girl, or perhaps a ‘runs’ girl, you really need to read this post. It’s somehow LENGTHY, but with PLENTY insight.
Do you know that since time immemorial, most women have been looking for ways to win the love of the men in their lives?
Women have always been told or taught numerous ways in order to please men. You’d see things like: “How to satisfy him in bed,” “How to win his love, ” “How to please your husband,” and several others.
In fact, in our mother’s time, they felt respect and “submission” is all they need for their husbands to love them, but some were abused, humiliated, and never enjoyed their marriage because these men thought they did them a favor to have married them.
Recently, some felt through beauty, character, ability to cook, sexual prowess, or their ability to conceive a child, men would love them. Meanwhile, others resort to diabolical means to win his affection.
As good as some of these things may seem, they have an expiry date. Beauty will fade. Character isn’t enough. Good food isn’t the only way to a man’s heart. Some men aren’t just satisfied with sex, they still want to explore until they are destroyed. And with charm, you’d only enjoy it while the “offer” last.
Do you think all these would make a man love you? I don’t think so.
Another school of thought posited that a woman can’t please a man. Is that true? Well, I hope so. But here’s what you need to know about men and love.
First, understand that the heart of men is as hard as stone when they choose to, and they can easily be distracted if they want to. You can never force your way into a man’s heart when his mind is not made up to love you. Never forget that!
If you want, use beauty, charm, push up bras, paint all the ‘paintables’, dance ‘skelewu’ in his presence, if his heart isn’t made up to love and accept you, you can do nothing to change him.
A friend of mine told me this, “Nothing can change a man’s heart when he’s not genuinely in love with you – not even sex or pregnancy”.
Chai! That’s a powerful truth you should never be emotional about. Did you get it? In case you don’t, please read it again slowly, and carefully.
Use all the useable you know to get him, it can only work for a while, but when he regains his right frame of mind, you’d continue the chase to get his face.
Dear woman, don’t ever try to win a man’s love. I reiterate, don’t force your way into a man’s heart, whether it’s by style, subtlety, or by strategy.
Love comes softly, naturally, and must never be induced. Lots of men will be attracted to you in your lifetime, not because they love you, but because they “like” you; it’s not because they need you, it’s because they want you.
While reading the story of Rachel and Leah, I found an incredible thing. It took Jacob seven years to serve Laban because he loved Rachel. Scripture had it that those 7 years seem to him like a few days. See love!
The word “love” is strong, it’s powerful indeed and in truth.
Why would you be the one to pursue a man? Who has ever beguiled you to think you must look for a man to marry you? If at all, your desire must be to your husband, lavish it on the right man. Rachel didn’t force herself on him, Jacob came for her, and proved the authenticity of his love. A woman must, and should not look for a man to marry her, it is a man who needs you that must find you.
This may not settle well with your school of thought, but it is the truth.
After Jacob was deceived and was given Leah instead of Rachel, (don’t you think he should accept Leah?) he still went ahead to serve another seven years to marry Rachel. Even the sex he had with Leah and the children she had for him doesn’t change his love for Rachel. Can you copy that?
Then, I mused over it. Why could this be so? Here’s what I found out.
Jacob’s love for Rachel was so intense that nothing could deter it. What kind of love could be so strong as this?
Well, C.S. Lewis, in his book, Four Loves, said the strongest of these love is called Agape love, but most of you refer to it as True love. And yes, it’s indeed true love.
Why is this kind of love true? These are what you don’t know about it.
Love that is true is unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial. Eros love wants sex and aims at tapping sexual current from you – sex without oneness or commitment. Phileo love only relates to friends, and it’s partial, while Storge love is the kind of love a woman has to her child.
But true love knows no bounds, and nothing can quench it. This kind of love is not depicted in Zee World, neither can you find it in novels, but in Him.
How can a man truly love me?
No man whose heart God has not touched, or he is determined to love you can ever love you truly. It doesn’t matter if he is a pastor, brother, youth or fellowship president, Imam, or an Alfa; he won’t love you truly when his heart still covets other ladies with big breasts and fine face.
You can’t even “pin” a man down with all you know when he believes that it is men’s world to cheat and that he has the liberty to be polygamous.
Don’t ever settle for the lies that men are polygamous in nature, hence, you’d manage your cheating partner with the notion that “husbands” are scarce. See, it is hard to find a good man, trust me, but it’s easy to find one when you involve God. I tell you the truth and I lie not.
Most men are moved by what they see, only a handful will never be influenced by sight, smell, and sound. So, quit looking for a man to love or marry you. Please, stop it!
How then do I find a man that would love me truly?
In the club, never. In the church, maybe. On social media, probably. In the neighborhood, I’m not sure. So, where?
I won’t mince words on this. To find such men, be truly devoted to God, and love Him indeed and in truth. Many of you usually think loving God is a long thing or it would make you a church girl, and all that.
See, you’d continue to experience heartbreak, hymen break, and life damage if you seek men to love you. Listen, most of these men don’t know what they need unless they’re connected to God who knows their need and they have made up their mind to accept His will.
Gone are the days when you have responsible men, today, most of the men you know are irresponsible. I’m a man, and this is not a prejudice.
You need God to find the right man. That a man is good doesn’t mean he’s the right one for you.
Many of you don’t want to involve God in the affairs of your life, but when things fall apart, you’d be swift to cry back to Him. It is better to make God the Alpha of your life than to have Him in when things fall apart.
Don’t waste your time chasing men and become a victim of the evils men do to women for love. Pursue God so He can give you the right one without any “Had I know.”
Second, it is only a man who has made up his mind to love you that would stay faithful to you, come rain or shine. Don’t ever think you can keep a man. You can only keep a man when he has determined in his heart to stay committed to you alone; Ofe Nsala or Efo riro soup won’t keep him either.
The last thing you should know about men and love, a man who is not faithful to God cannot be faithful to you.
And contrary to what you have known, men are not the problem of women. Most women do not buy the truths they need to know about men and love, this is why their ignorance or naiveness caused them a lot.
You don’t need to lure a man into your life, allow God to bring the right one. Every beautiful, breasted and brainy lady would naturally catch a man’s attention. But to get the right one, let God direct you.
When a woman understands the hearts of men as it relates to love, she would never be a victim of relationship issues. Remember, real women do not look for a man to marry them, but a real man finds a real woman and marries her.