A lot of us claimed to know so much about love, but the outcome of our love life shows we are bereft of what love truly is. The likes of hugging, petting, buying flowers, or giving gifts have often been tagged as the display of love, but they could be deceptive.
More so, we claim to know so much about love, but the way we express it betrays our knowledge. How can you be in love, yet you cheat on the one you claimed to love?
There are two things we don’t bear in mind when it comes to the expression of love. There’s the vertical and horizontal expression of love. We fail to express love horizontally the way we ought to because we do not know what it entails to “love up.”
Your vertical expression of love comes to play when you love God first. I do not intend to sound religious, but I have come to realize that you would love others better when you love God first. And this agrees with the words of Brela Delahoussaye which state that when couples love God first, they love each other better.
And this applies to you.
When you love God first, it would reflect in the way you treat your neighbors next door. You can’t treat your partner with contempt if you truly love God.
Joseph in the Bible had the opportunity to have an affair with his boss’ wife, but he considered it great wickedness against God if he did so. Was there religion in his time? I cannot think of one.
Love without the fear of God would be impatient, impolite, overbearing, proud, lustful, and would be ego-driven. Do you love God? The proof that you love Him is shown in how you treat the one you love – especially your spouse or partner.
Do you love God? Do you believe He exists? If you don’t, then you’re probably one of those people who have made love appear wicked, crazy, or a scam. Love is true when it acknowledges and bears in mind the existence of God, and does not do to others what he does not want them to do to him.
Love does not stem from your feelings; it is your mindset that determines your love life. If you have programmed the wrong information about love into your mind, your expression of love will be all that bad things people say about love – consciously or unconsciously.
You can’t love your friend (neighbor) in isolation without considering your love for God. It is a mind that is God-conscious that would avoid anything that could hurt the one he or she loves.
The more you shift your mind away from acknowledging His existence and your regard for Him, the more terrible your love life becomes. Don’t you think a person’s mind would be hardened, reprobate, and evil when he tries to express love without loving God first?
Many ended up becoming selfish, demanding, and uncommitted to their relationship because they do not believe that what they do to their spouse or friend is an offense against God.
If you can have the kind of mind Joseph had when he had the opportunity to sleep with his boss’ wife, this world in general would have been a better place.
Now, ask yourself this question: Do I love Him first or I do not regard Him while I try to be a better lover? Love is not wicked. Love isn’t crazy, or those terrible things many say about it. Love is beautiful when two lovers love God first and from that point, they express love mutually to each other.
Do you want to be a better lover? Do you want to enjoy what love truly is? You can revive your love life again. All you need to do is to admit God as being supreme over your life and in all you do. Love Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind as this would help you love others better.
Meanwhile, in your horizontal relationship, you should know that the kind of person you love, their understanding of love, and the motive of their heart would define your experience about love.
You can’t have a great experience with love when you are in love with the wrong person – an abuser, a cheat, or a liar. Their expression of love which seems normal to them would affect your experience of love.
If all that you know or that your spouse or partner knows about love is weird, or it conforms to the way their parents express love which contradicts the qualities of love in 1 Corinthians 13, it would affect your love life.
Love is real and true when you love God first. And the kind of person you’re in love with, their reason for loving you, and their understanding of love would affect your experience about love.