Marriage is honorable in all, but today the institution of marriage has not only been desecrated but bastardized. Nobody cares whether or not your marriage bed is defiled. Almost everyone wants to have a taste of marital sex through premarital sex, and those who are married but with a perverted mindset are craving for extramarital sex.
If you’re a virgin, the society we live in would make it seem like you’re an outcast for taking your stand on sexual purity. Those who have lost theirs would make you feel like you’re doing a terrible thing.
Mind you, remaining a virgin till marriage doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage if you lack good character and you’re married to the wrong person. To your virginity, add the fear of God, be the right person, marry the right person, and involve God before and inside your marriage.
Moreover, in our present world where the lust for sex is easily provoked, it’s not easy to remain a virgin till marriage in this age where everyone seems to encourage illicit sex and you’d look like a sheep in the midst of wolves. Meanwhile, if you won’t bow to the god of sexual immorality and illicit sex, there are some things you need to know that would help your resolve.
1. Myths to overcome
Several lies have been told to discourage people from embracing the culture of abstinence or sexual purity till marriage.
Some would tell you that men don’t like women who are virgins till marriage, sex would be painful the longer you stay celibate, or that female virgin would have problem giving birth if they’re not deflowered before marriage; and lots more.
You’d even be told that you can’t enjoy sex in marriage if you’re inexperienced. Or that remaining a virgin is old-school and no one appreciates virgins. Surprisingly, you could hear that virginity is not a sign of dignity, but a lack of opportunity. Can you imagine that?
All these and many more are misconceptions that would hoodwink you if you don’t know the truth. To remain sexually pure in your soul and body, you need to know the truth, not as head knowledge, but as your guiding principle and philosophy.
So, if I ask you why do you choose to remain a virgin till marriage? Ensure your answer is convincing enough to keep you grounded no matter how many lies you’d encounter before marriage.
2. Issues to cope with
Staying sexually pure till marriage doesn’t come cheap, there are both internal and external problems you have to deal with.
As a lady, you must be able to withstand those occasional feelings when your body would demand sex during your ovulation. Your ability to say NO to a man’s sexual demand and pressure without feeling apologetic would mean a lot.
As a young man, you mustn’t follow the direction of your infrequent morning erection, nor should you attempt to prove a point to those who want you to “Be a man.”
If you cannot deal with these internal issues, it would be easy for people to talk you out of your vow to remain a virgin till marriage.
Do you know that a voice could whisper into your ears something like this: “What’s the point of keeping your virginity all these years that you don’t have a suitor?” “Do it once and God will forgive you.” That’s not your thought, it’s from the devil.
Next, you must overcome those external influences that come with your decision to stay pure in form of suggestions, opinions, or advice. Your friends or peers might attempt to ridicule or set you up so you can lose what you treasure.
Even in the church, when you choose to stay out of immoral relationships, some church goers or “pastors” may call you names for taking your stand or encourage you to yield since they believe “Nobody holy pass.”
Some would scorn you by saying, “Who virginity epp?” If you want to please everyone or remain in their good books, you’d easily be talked out of your vows for sexual purity. Remaining sexually pure in the soul and body has lots of benefits than the disadvantages you’d be told to frustrate you out of it. Are there any demerits? N.O, No.
Don’t jog or negotiate.
You can’t loiter around the corridor of sexual immorality and you’d retain your sexual sanity or purity. Some virgins have invested so much into foreplay that penetration is the only thing they’ve not done.
Flee from any relationship that wants you to sin by touching, fondling, or smooching. Don’t allow anyone to manipulate you by using your vulnerable points to lure you into sex. Whether it’s your fiancé or fiancée that wants you to do the do, FLEE.
Joseph ran, not because he wasn’t man enough, but because he doesn’t want to sin against God. Don’t be deceived by those who want you to do it once and ask God for forgiveness. Yes, He will forgive you, but that could be your greatest undoing in life.
A one-time act could lead to a lifetime damage you might not recover from. I’m not writing these to scare you, but to let you know that if you want to remain sexually pure in this crooked and perverse generation, you must flee. Flee because you fear and love God – not because of STDs or unwanted pregnancy.
However, If you’re not ready to overcome your fears, and myths or deal with both the internal and external issues that come with staying sexually pure, you’d lose it in no distant future. Ask many who were married as virgins, especially those who were in their thirties, they suffered many things to remain virgins till marriage, but in the end, it was worth it.
Aside from the fact that you please God by choosing to remain sexually pure, you’d enjoy the blessings that come from it in no little way. Remember, behind every choice you make in life, there are consequences – either good or bad, regrettable or commendable, ridiculous or glorious.
Now, the choice is yours to make: stay pure or embrace immorality.