If many unmarried singles knew what to do to marry the right person, most of them wouldn’t have ended up with the wrong marriage partner.
Do you know that marriage is 60% successful when two right persons marry each other?
Several factors are responsible for failed marriages, but the greatest of them all is a marital mismatch. No matter how much you tried to patch up a wrong partner, over time their incompatibility would manifest sooner or later.
A right person doesn’t mean a perfect partner, but it does mean that two imperfect persons know how to manage their differences to achieve a harmonious relationship. Unfortunately, if you can’t walk in agreement with your spouse, your union will be dissolved due to irreconcilable differences.
Meanwhile, as Christians, there are certain things you need to know and do if you’d recognize your tribemate. Mind you, your tribemate is not from your ethnic group, but someone with whom you can both walk and work together in marriage as the Lord leads you together.
I reiterate, that a person is from your church, religion, ethnic group, denomination, birthday, or age mate doesn’t mean you should marry them. Whether he makes me happy, or she cares for me like my mother, knowing your tribemate is deeper than that.
What you need to understand about a tribemate
1. When Rebecca came into the life of Isaac, scripture asserted that he was comforted after the death of his mother. Whoever your tribemate is would bring COMFORT into your life.
Comfort is different from emotional bliss, rather it’s a deeper satisfaction in your soul when you’ve found the right person. What water is to a thirsty soul is what comfort is to a person who finds the right soulmate.
A wrong partner will bring discomfort to your life in one way or the other no matter how much you try to manage him or her.
2. Next, they will STICK WITH YOU through thick and thin. Endurance is different from tolerating an abusive or toxic partner. Do you know that Zechariah did not have a side chick because Elizabeth was barren for years? What would have happened if they were to live in this generation?
Your tribemate will persevere with you no matter the situation you find yourself in, but if you marry a fair-weather mate, you’re on your own.
3. To identify them, they’ll WALK AND WORK with you to fulfill your purpose or destiny. This is very important. You can’t find the right person to marry if you don’t know what your divine purpose or destiny is in life.
Anyone who comes into your life and whose focus centers on pleasure-seeking activities such as sexual intimacy, the pursuit of vanities, and frivolity is not the person you should consider for marriage.
Those who marry for pleasure end with boring marriages and they’re easily distracted by mundane things in life. Seek to know your divine purpose before you find who to marry.
However, the major thing you need to find your tribemate is not to seek for signs, rather, bank on those things that would help you to find them. Don’t seek for signs to find the right partner, partner with divine wisdom that would help you.
Signs would mislead you, but God’s wisdom will never fail you.
Meanwhile, the major things you need to find your tribemate are stated below.
1. God’s Mercy
Do you know that marrying the right person at this age is more than adherence to principles? Do you know why?
Getting married is scarier than being merrier because the heart of men and women is becoming cruel and desperately wicked. You can’t know the right person on the strength of principles alone, you need His mercy.
Principles are good, but banking on His mercy is the best. Abraham’s servant prayed to God for His mercy before he followed the signs he set. God’s mercy makes the difference and it triumphs over judgment.
With the way some have lived in the past, the consequences of their parent’s actions, and their foundational problems, they should not have a good marriage. Live right, follow the right principles of finding the right partner, and above all, pray to God for mercy to find the right person.
When you eliminate His mercy in the life of a man, his principles, hard work, or signs would fail him.
2. Divine Guidance
The second most important thing needed after God’s mercy isn’t your principles, but divine guidance. God is still in the business of guiding those who depend on Him for a partner.
Abraham’s eldest servant attests to this by saying, “I being in the way, the Lord led me.” Let God lead you, not your emotions, erection, things, or people.
You can’t be guided by God if you don’t have a relationship with Him. With divine guidance comes divine revelation and spiritual discernment. Adam did not dream before he recognized his wife, but through discernment, he knew who his wife was. The health of your spiritual life determines the accuracy of your divine guidance.
Do you want to find the right person to marry?
Don’t lean on your understanding (education, experience, exposure) when it comes to choosing who to marry. It’s costly if you don’t invoke His mercy and position yourself to be guided by God.
Through discernment, Adam recognized his wife, and through God’s mercy, Abraham’s eldest servant was led to the woman who became Isaac’s wife.
Your tribemate may not be in your church, location, or around your sphere of influence; but when you involve God’s mercy and you’re guided, He will lead you to the place where you’d meet him or her. Never trivialize these two things in your journey of finding the right person.