Of all things that frighten singles, the issue of being married to the wrong person is a crucial one. Ask any unmarried singles what their greatest fear is and you’d be shocked to know that they’re afraid of getting married to the wrong person.
To know who you should marry, you need to understand who the wrong person is. Unfortunately, many do not know how to identify the wrong person.
A wrong person may not be a smoker, alcoholic, womanizer, or a cheat, yet they are not the right person for you. He may pamper you like pampers, or she can care for you like your mother, but this doesn’t mean he or she is the right person.
It’s ignorance to read books or posts telling you “21 Kinds of Man or Woman You Should Not Marry” and the author fails to show you fail proof ways to recognize the right person.
It is not enough for a person to make you happy or give you peace of mind as it were to mean they’re the right person.
Who then is the right person you should marry?
Marry your friend? Marry the person you love or the person who loves you?
The right person you should marry is a man or woman that’s from your tribe.
If you think I mean your ethnic group, you’re wrong. Please pay attention as you read on.
According to Lexicon, a tribe is a socially, ethnically, or politically cohesive group of people. But scripturally, a tribe is a group of people who walk together in agreement with one other.
When Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac, he told his eldest servant to go to his country and kindred to take a wife, not the daughters of the land (Canaanites) where he lived.
What does that mean to you?
If you’re truly a child of God, don’t marry an unbeliever. It’s not enough that he or she goes to church, belongs to a workforce, speaks in tongues, and all that. There are unbelievers in the church, in short, they are plenty.
There are many churchgoers you think they’re Christians, yet they’re unbelievers. See, the church (or your church) is not a safe place to marry if God’s not involved.
Marry from your tribe; not from your church denomination or cultural tribe.
If you’re a kingdom-minded man or woman, marry someone from the kingdom who you’re both kingdom-minded, and you walk in agreement.
I don’t know the circumstances that surrounded how Osinachi married her husband who killed her, but something is wrong somewhere. Many kingdom sisters are breadwinners or prominent and are married to kingdom brothers.
Don’t marry talent or gifts. Let no one be attracted to you because of what you do. The killer husband married her container, not her content.
Zechariah was a priest who married Elizabeth, one of the daughters of Aaron. They were from the same tribe, both were righteous before God, and they’re walking in all His commandments and ordinances blamelessly.
That a person is a pastor, deacon, chorister, or has attended discipleship class doesn’t mean they’re kingdom-minded, or the right person. This is deeper than what most of you think.
To identify or marry a kingdom-minded believer, you must be led by God. More so, you need divine wisdom to recognize the right person, not telltale or carnal signs.
How was Rebecca led to Abraham’s eldest servant?
Study Genesis chapter twenty-four meditatively. It wasn’t through the use of a fleece method as many think, or the use of carnal or worldly principles (dating, cohabiting, and the likes).
See, you can’t get it right by using the wrong formula. You can’t get to the right destination by taking the shortcut. You can take shortcuts in getting to a physical location, but you can never do “wuruwuru to the answer” when it comes to marriage.
In verse twenty-seven of Genesis chapter twenty-four, you’d see that Abraham wasn’t destitute of God’s mercy and truth, and God led the servant to the right person and place.
To marry right, you need God’s mercy and truth, and to be led by God; other parameters are secondary. If these two things are missing as you look out for who to marry, you’d marry the wrong person.
The right person God would lead you to may not be from your ethnic group, or your church denomination, but ensure you bank on His mercy and truth alongside divine leading.
It is good you marry a Christian or someone with a good character, but those mundane things alone cannot lead you to the right person. I know many “Christians” who are worse than infidels, and some who faked having a good character who later became something else in marriage.
In a nutshell, if you’re a Christian (Jesus’ disciple, and kingdom-minded) reading this, not a churchgoer, or church member, adopt these two principles of marrying the right person, and you’d never regret you did.
Marry from your tribe, not the sons and daughters of this world.
I pray that God would grant you a spiritual understanding of these truths.