There are over one thousand and one reasons why people enter into a relationship but only few truly went into a relationship for the right purpose, whether marriage or friendship.
Many had several reasons why they go into a relationship but any reason that’s not godly and purpose-oriented will lead you into regret.
It’s commonly said that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.
Why am I in this relationship?
Do not rush to give an answer, evaluate and make amends where necessary.
1. Is it to know how the opposite sex behaves?
You might have been brainwashed that going into a relationship would make know understand the behavioural pattern of the opposite sex. Many are actors and actresses in their relationships, marriage would truly reveal their behaviour, especially when they pretended all through.
Mind you, the best way to know how the opposite sex behaves is to study from afar, read good books on relationships or keep a relationship with NO strings attached. The latter is usually difficult.
If you learn swimming by jumping inside the river without been taught, you’ll drown. Don’t let an immoral relationship sink you deep in its mire.
There are many people who entered into a relationship to know how the opposite sex behaves but unfortunately, they were caught up with emotional intimacy which led them to sexual immorality.
Build emotional stability and maturity before you go into any relationship. You can only achieve this now that you’re single – not in a relationship. You need to be careful about relationship. Any relationship that adds no value to your life will take away something valuable from you.
Evaluation: For these months that I have been in this relationship, what value has it added to my life and destiny?
2. Do I just want to catch fun in this relationship or I feel it’s the best way to enjoy life?
The last time I checked, fun is an activity that gives pleasure. A relationship that you entered for the sake of fun (pleasure) will expose you to the likes of kissing, caressing each other’s body, erotic conversations, premarital or extramarital sex, engaging in foreplay without penetrative sex and so on.
And the consequences of this cannot be farfetched.
How will you choose to live a life of fun and waste away? Anyone who loves pleasure is dead while they live. Instead, face your life squarely and get something tangible to do with your life.
I’ve not seen anyone who toe the path of pleasure and made positive impact in their generation. Don’t let that relationship ruin the purpose why God created you.
The best way to destroy your life is to live for fun or pleasure when others are making a meaning out of life.
Evaluation: Have I been pursuing lustful pleasure in this present relationship such as kissing, illicit sex, ‘romancing’ without performing the main act, hanging out with the boys or babes till there’s a hangover? Will I continue like this and end up being destroyed? Think twice!
3. Am I in this relationship because I’m lonely?
Some people haven’t clearly defined their life, yet they wanted a relationship to help them. The cure to loneliness is not by going into a relationship. It is when you know God’s purpose for your life that you can overcome it. Don’t just know it, do something about it.
Loneliness is a state. It’s a feeling and it’s temporal, you can find a permanent cure to it if you discover God’s purpose for your life or you’re productively engaged with your life’s purpose.
If you don’t find a cure to your loneliness now that you’re single, marriage would make it worse. If you go into a relationship because you’re lonely, you’ll never have a say of your own because you’ll always want the other party to keep your company.
Evaluation: Is it because I’m lonely that’s why I’m in this relationship? Discover God’s purpose for your life and don’t waste your life on the pursuit of boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.
4. Am I in this relationship because I was intimidated?
“My friends already had boyfriends (girlfriends) and I’m alone.” So? Is that the reason why you need a relationship?
Do you want to live your life the way your friends are messing up their lives? You cannot do the immoral things your mates are doing and become successful in life.
It is only weak people that are intimidated in life. Those who are focused do not get distracted by other’s intimidation. Choose godly purpose and not pleasure.
5. How can I be of age and I’m not in any relationship?
Are you within this category? There’s no defined age to be in a relationship. It is not your age that matters but your readiness to handle the demands of a relationship.
Relationship requires hard work. Those who do not want to work are those who pursue pleasure. A good relationship will be mutually beneficial on the basis of the pursuit of godly purpose.
Relationship is a distraction when you haven’t defined your life, career or destiny. It will destroy you if you haven’t learned self-control; be mature to a large extent and you know why you’re here – purpose of existence.
How can you have issues with relationships when you have learnt the pros and cons in it? You cannot have issues in your relationship when you carefully, prayerfully and patiently choose the right person and you apply the right principles. All these are achievable if you’re ready to pay the price.
My dear, if this relationship does not help your life and destiny, quit now! Don’t rot in it.